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Nipped it in the bud and feeling pretty smug!

on the fence's picture

First kind of pissed with SO and then proud of him for seeing! I made a huge, delicious chowder yesterday. SO and my boys just love my homemade soups, stews and chowders.

SS18's gf was here and we had SD10 for the night. I texted SO about dinner, wondering if he wanted the chowder or if skids were hoping for taco tuesday out.

SO and SS18's GF both texted me at the same time saying. "I want chowder!"

then it went south.

Text SO to me: Um, SD10 won't like that though.

(I'm thinking WTF? Is he serious? He should shut that down right noww, not support her rudeness with rudeness of his own!)

Me texting to SO: Should work on that....
SO: Yes. Good point. She will have what we are having.

(Now I'm thinking you bet your sweet ass she will. She hasn't even tried it or seen it yet! Who decided she didn't like it? She can at least try it first and then help herself to the PB&J if it's so awful! I put a lot of effort into something the rest of us all love. How rude!)

So I text SO again: It's time to learn to eat what's for dinner. It is wholesome and healthful and not good for parents to cater to whiney "I don't like......" IMHO. (Note, SD10 is overweight and SO is concerned about it but apparently if it's fast food he doesn't seem to notice what and how much she is consuming. I know her self image is not good because of her weight.)

SD10 was her perfect, sweet self. She had a bowl of the chowder, said it was really good and thanked me.

Isn't this more what SO would prefer? Did he not see that he was being rude himself and encouraging picky, rude, entitled "all about me" behavior in his daughter?

Of course he was happy with the evening, and I'm proud of both of them for remembering that they do have manners and just because I am SM doesn't mean you can be rude to me!

Just how damn dense do you have to be to need this pointed out to you? LOL!

(If my bios said something like that on the way to dinner that someone else was cooking I'd put the smack down on that before ever getting to the house and the hostess/ cook would never know that what she made was anything but amazing.)

I realize that this is a very small thing in a very nice family, but there is NO WAY I will cater to a picky eater or put one kid's wrinkled nose ahead of the entire rest of the family!

Comments

Elizabeth's picture

Good for you and SO. I totally agree with you on this. My brother cooked for us the other day and my BD8 said she didn't like something he'd made. She immediately got reprimanded and was made to eat it and not complain any more. She knows better than that. At my house I make one meal, I don't cater to picky kids. They eat it and they don't ask for something else or complain about what I've given them.

SD18, on the other hand, got away with that crap all the time and made it hell to even fix a simple meal. Not to steal from Crayon, but we also had the meatloaf episode where SD pitched a fit about my making meatloaf and refused to eat it, and DH even marked the date on the calendar because he'd decided that I knew SD (then about 12) didn't like meatloaf and had made it on purpose on a day we had her (we had her 65 to 70 percent of the time).

MJL2010's picture

I agree totally! Good for you! I know SOOO many kids who are atrocious eaters- junk, junk, more junk but whine and cry at the prospect of eating healthful things- and M/D totally back down to them!! Are you kidding? And we wonder why we are in such dire straits where health and fitness are concerned in this country.

Mmmm, chowder.....sounds so yummy!

on the fence's picture

Thanks, ladies!

I just can't get past how a man with excellent manners, who treats everyone with respect and kindness would lose his mind like that when it comes to what SD10 "wants" or how he would think that it is any way hepling her to be a polite, well brought up child which really, she is.

I honestly don't think he realized what he was doing. He took it well enough and made the appropriate adjustment, but what in God's name was he thinking? Would he do that to any of his friends? Or would he tell the kid to suck it up and mind her manners? Is this why we, the SM gets stepped on if we aren't on guard against this?

That was just plain ignorant of him, really. And I thought his ignorance ended with marrying BM and agreeing to another crotch dropping at an age when he had two older kids and should have known better! LOL!

on the fence's picture

Agree! I love to cook and the last thing I want to hear is picky eater whining. It hurts my feelings and I would hope that they'd never do that to any of my friends when we're invited to dinner. Being a good cook and going to the effort is a gift of love to a family.

Mine are all old enough that I certainly don't have to. The house is full of food. If by now you don't know what to do with it, then you deserve to starve. They're fine at cooking for themselves, but they LOVE to have me do it.

Picky eaters do have a way of taking the joy out of it and it really is just as rude as turning your nose up at anything someone gives or does for you. The thought and the effort should be graciously acknowleged. (Or at least just shut up and eat! }:) }:) )