I am so depressed

BB told BF that she will not sign the divorce papers. She told him this after she asked when we were going to get married. So know she is not going to sign the papers. She said that she was going to get her a lawyer so that she can get half of his retirement. They have been separated just as long as they have been married. I just want to beat the f*&k out of her. I told him the skids can't come down today b/c if BB is the one dropping them off I am going to go to jail tonight. I have never met someone who is so selfish, mean spirited, and as stupid as she is. She doesn't want to see him happy but she can go screw have of the town. She is living with a BF now. Why can't she just let him go. I'm telling you I feel so down right now. FH is a good man and she realized that she screwed him over and in my heart of hearts i believe that she wants him back. So she is content on making his life miserable.

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I am so sorry to hear this.

I am so sorry to hear this. There are some royally screwed up BM's out there.

My advice would be to hang in there.. dont let her win this one. He is better off w/you and deserves his chance at happiness.

I agree.. dont have her drop them off.. or him go to her either for the skids.. Emotions will be running too high.

my husband and I went

through the same thing with his ex when we were dating. She carried it out for as long as she possibly could stand and afford to. It was so reduculous. The sad thing is its all about making HIM suffer while she lives with her boyfriend and whatever, and she might want him back but obviously your BF doesnt so I wouldnt worry if I was you. Most of the women that do this are the ones that realized they screwed up. Just look on the bright side though, he loves you and he hes with you now. Just hang in there and try to keep your cool, I know its hard but you can do it!!

Well

One thing that i know is that she really can't afford to pay a lawyer what it will cost to drag this out. I think she will use her income tax refund to pay for a lawyer. We had set a wedding date for May 31 b/c she told FH that she would not contest the divorce. She works in chicken factory. So i am just going to ride this out. Thanks ladies for your support.

How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving, and tolerant of the weak and strong. Because someday in your life you will have been all of these

I don't know what your state

your in, but in CA you just can't drag them on indefinitely. There are ways to just get it over, get an arbitrator to help make a fair settlement, and then proceed. CA is a no fault state, and you cannot refuse to sign papers. In CA if it is draggin on, it is because neither of the parties are pursuing the divorce aggressively and are dragging their feet.

If it makes you feel any better

BM did the EXACT same thing to us. You can offer a cash settlement on the retirement. We paid her $750. She would've had to hire an accountant to figure out what the actual cash value was and we offered to pay her this small amount of money hoping she would just take it.

She did.

She also dragged it out as long as she feasibly could. But we did the same, we scheduled mediation and she had to go. We compromised a lot but it was worth it in the end....and now she's the ex-wife.

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...It's about learning to dance in the rain."

Very smart to settle up now

I would look into what's in there now and ask your attorney what she's due according to divorce law. If it's a third or half, well I would find a way to get her a decent check now. If possible don't withdraw from the plan to do it as your are penalized heaviliy by taxes to do so, but if it's the only way then do it. If not, she could be due up to half when he retires which is a heck of a lot more money by then.

Peace, love, and red wine

DH is in denial about his daughter

Gosh my DH thinks his daughter is still a baby never mind she is 12 y/o. He wants to drag her along every trip we take and I cant seem to get some ALONE time with my DH. We do not have any kids yet, having been married three years now since we decided we would wait a few years and spend some time together. NOw he cant go out of town........he has to drag the SD12 along because she will " FEEL BAD" GRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!! never mind that she comes over and uses my computer and downloads all kinds of games and so on..........my DH bought her a laptop when she was 10 and i told him to tell her to bring it over when she comes (every other weekend) but lo and behold........she never brings it over.
I mean is it just me wondering why would you give a 10 year old a laptop with unlimited internet access. She locks herself in her room and she has the laptop..........the possibilities are limitless but my DH thinks she is an angel and would not get in to trouble on the internet. Anyway when he got her the laptop for her bday when she was 10 we had an argument about it and since then I dont get involved in any decision concernign her............but she sure is in the middle of my life. SOemtimes she does not come over the weekend when she is supposed to so it follows that the next weekend she will come over so of course my plans have to be shelved. HELP!!!!!!!!!!!

we

asked the lawyer and he said that she is entitled to half. so when i got home i looked the issue up on the internet. I found this one article that said that each retirement firm has their own equation to how much she is entitled to.

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