I have just got internet access of my own after the big walk out less than six weeks ago, so I thought I would write an update for anyone interested in my story.

In less than six weeks I have:

Left Steplife and all its associated stresses well behind

Left the Ostrich to his own devices, as he wished

Found and moved in to my apartment and moved almost all my furniture because it has so much space

Sold my beloved home and in the process of emptying it bit by bit

Obtained more work from my very understanding boss

Spent time with my family and arranging to meet an old friend this weekend

It has been one of the busiest but most suprising times in my life. In the end, I called the Ostrich's bluff and far from allowing him to leave as he kept saying he would but never did, I packed a bag and left. He has expressed no interest in getting me back or in finding out where I am, or how I am. I am convinced this is what he wanted for some time but lacked the guts to do anything about it. He chose his kids over me, no doubt about that- but have his kids chosen to spend any more time with him? I doubt it, the evidence I have is that he is sitting most evenings on his own surrounded by boxes containing my soon to be moved stuff. I hope he's loving every minute of not having me in his life. He's probably already looking for sucker no 5.

My apartment is ok- a bit claustrophobic but I'm making it my own. I miss my garden but I have my lovely bed here, my pictures and my family very close by. I have come home to the area I was born after 40 years and I never realised how lovely it could be in the spring. Views everywhere! Unlike Ostrichland which was flat and dull, a bit like him!

When I go to work I call at the house and take a few more boxes. I don't tell him I'm going or that I've been- he can figure that out through the things that are missing. I don't devote any time to sentiment- the sold sign is there, the garden already growing wild now that spring has arrived, and the house having less and less of me. I have shed no tears, if I feel my heart caving I quickly find something else to do and get out as quickly as I can.

I am working hard, I still have to travel but as I'm near the freeway it doesn't take too long and I don't have time to feel sorry for myself. My main priority now is to earn as much as I can.

My family have been wonderful and brilliant as I knew thay would be- people don't pry which is a relief because they wouldn't understand if I tried to expalin that we parted because he thought more of his adult kids than he did of me. It even sounds weird writing it, but I know people on here will understand when no one else does.

My new life will slowly take shape- when I have my share of the money from the house I will have to make serious decisions about what to do next- to buy something else or bank it and rent. What I do know is that I will do it- I am now truly my own mistress- no dread at his coming through the door with his cloud of gloom- no more feeling second, third, even fourth in line. I can eat, drink, sleep, watch tv or go for a walk whenever I like. No more trying to revive a dead relationship, no more spending my time with a warm corpse.

I am living my life- Stepfree, Ostrich free, tension free. I didn't think it could be done- but look what happened- I did it!