Don't know how this is going to go over.

I talked to Softheart last night on the phone. She hasn't been over in a few weeks so she just wanted to call and say hi and that she was really excited about the new house. We were just chatting and she mentioned something about not having any money for new school clothes. She said that her gma (BMs mom) said she would try to get her one outfit. DH pays CS. I know that BM uses it as weekend party money because every time she wants it, she always makes some comment about him mailing it so she will have it for the weekend. They don't have a court order...just an amount they have agreed on. I told DH that the next time Softheart came over, he should take 1/2 the CS and buy her some school clothes. Her skanky whore of a mother is not going to do it. I'm sure she will get pissed when she has to miss a weekend of partying but I really don't give a shit. She should have her fast ass at home anyway. She's got 4 damn kids. She should be at home taking care of them not out making out with chicks and picking up new dick every weekend!

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She has no clothes. Every

She has no clothes. Every time I see her she's wearing the exact same outfit.

I'm sure she does. She tells

I'm sure she does. She tells me all the time how her mom gets wasted every weekend. Softheart has to babysit her younger siblings on the weekends so old trash ass can go out.

I know! Softheart mentioned

I know! Softheart mentioned coming to live with us. (I like her but no.) I told DH that BM would never allow that because Softheart is her cash cow and baby sitter.

How much CS does he pay? I

How much CS does he pay? I only ask to see if it is worth the fight that will happen. If its low, just pay and get her some clothes as well. If it high and no CO, might as well take half, buy the clothes and give BM the recipient with the other half of CS.

It's middle of the road. But

It's middle of the road. But I like the receipt idea. I don't care how mad she gets. She's such a worthless asshat.

I don't think she would do

I don't think she would do that but then again ... Who knows?

Make sure DH documents

Make sure DH documents EVERYTHING. I've heard too often of cases where there was no CO and the BM goes back and gets back CS during the time that she was being paid without the CO in place. Or worse yet goes to CSEU. I keep ALL of Chef's paystubs from way past 7 years ago. Never know when CSEU will purge their records and the Girhippo can go back and say she never got any CS from past 7 years ago. Especially b/c the Gir is a Child Protective worker by trade and works right down the hall from her CSEU cronies. There are cases where this has actually happened.

I like the receipt for clothing too, but it may trigger backlash. She may just trot down, get a CO in place and contact CSEU. And don't think that she won't because she may believe that the CO will have rules for her too. Generally they're just a mere suggestion and a slap on the wrist is given when CP BMs violate the CO. And they know that.

She's not really vindictive

She's not really vindictive or not that I have ever seen. Doesn't mean she wouldn't become that way. I just wish she would use the CS for what it was intended for, not drinking. But what can ya do?

I sort of envy those with the

I sort of envy those with the overtly bad BMs in a way. You can actually PROVE to authorities that the BM is a terrible parent. And if the skids are mature, they can see if for their own eyes--which may prove to be a lesson to them in how NOT to be as a parent when they grow up.

I think it's really bad when you have the type of BM who is extremely vindictive yet tries to appear as MOTY, upstanding, church lady, pillar of the community who doesn't party or do drugs (that anyone KNOWS of) but is a woefully lazy parent. And said BM tries to pull the wool over everyone's eyes including her own gullible children.