and i'm going to get the rest of my stuff saturday with about 3 trucks and my car. he plans to take sd's out anyway for the day and i told him i wanted all my premaritial stuff and would like access to the house myself without him or the kids there.

i'll be ready for this to be OVER. i'm letting dd go with her dad tomorrow til sometime saturday (maybe the weekend so i can rest). I have set up a disconnect order for the home phone for 30 days out (so sd isn't without a home phone) and limited it's use to restricted only with no extra's. i e-mailed him a deadline and told him "service order scheduled for 30 days from now" saturday the cell phone bill is due, so i'll be dropping his phone from my plan and changing my phone number-which will probably deactivate his all together

dd will be able to finish school about 2 weeks early due to the circumstances so for now, i'm having to be out the door 2 hours early to get dd to her babysitter and get to work. friday's will be a bitch cause it's early days at work. so i'll have to be up at 4 and be out the door at 5. dd is finishing school in our old town then when it's over, i'll be getting her set up back in the city.

i'm so tired right now, but in a different way. i've been stressing over the bills and how the f i'm gonna feed everyone. but now my stress is getting up early and late nights (especially since school isn't out til 10 which i really dunno how the hell i'm gonna pull that off-i have dd taken care of but since i have to be up so early right now, i dunno if i can handle a late night at school AND it's suggested to let dd sleep over at baby sitters house-which i honestly don't really like). mom offered to go get my daughter after school a few times for me to help me out with the runnign but with it being out in the boon docks (literally) i told her, i can only show you how to get there OR you can just pick her up from school. i'm so tired i want to cry, but it's not an emotional tired (it is but i'm already begining to recouperate from that). it's a "i need a fucking break" tired. my supervisor commented "you dont look like you're freaking out, or emotionally tired you look physically tired" made me feel better, i told him the plans and he asked "i don't know how you do it" (i've heard that a lot lately) well, i kind of HAVE to in order to keep dd as stable as possible.

i've had a few ppl suggest getting on some kind of antidepressant because i've had so much going on, and i have no clue when to sleep, (getting very little, fo sho) but i've talked to ppl and honestly taking action (i'm doing) is the best anti depressant sometimes

ok rant over-but that's what's going on with me right now

if you read this, thanks, if not-i don't blame you, i wouldn't want to read about my drama filled life

next step, figuring out what to do before aug-i have a few options
1. mom has suggested she and i live together in cheap ass rent where she is to help us both financially and get my credit back in good shape
2. buying me a house that we could live in more comfortably, then she can move on when gpa passes, and i can take over fully
3. find my own place

only issue with living with her is, 2 queen bee's dont' mix long, and if i want a man or even just have friends over when dd is gone or want to host a party, i dont' want to have to get permission. or have to check in with her if i want to leave for a weekend date.