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I can't even stand to look at this kid right now

effigy's picture

Someone please help me, I am losing my f'ing mind. My stepdaughter is an obnoxious, spoiled, manipulative, twisted little monster and I can't take it anymore. She's terrible. I don't know what to do about it.

I had been planning for two years to take my son to DisneyWorld for his birthday/Christmas. My parents bought tickets and reserved the time share before I married my husband. After we were married they added him and his daughter to the tickets -- I should have known better.

Her shit started before we got on the plane and it didn't stop until we dropped her off at her mothers last night -- and she's due back very soon.

She was pissy with my parents -- even throwing a gift at them and declaring it 'ugly'. She refused to sleep, getting out of bed every ten minutes to bother everyone at all hours of the night -- nobody slept. We went to DisneyWorld -- the place that my son and I have been so excited to go to for years -- and she stood there with her hands over her ears SCREAMING that she hated it. She was a brat about every single ride, ever single thing we did, etc. For example, she would beg to go in the pool -- you'd put her in and she'd scream.

I know I am not making much sense right now and I could explain better later -- I'm just so angry.

This child consistently intentionally tries to ruin a good time. Whenever she sees someone having fun she will start going off about what a terrible time she's having and how much she hates it. She even went as far as insisting on being included in photos only to scream at the camera or have a puss on her face.

I can't even look at her right now. I am so angry. I feel like she ruined what was meant to be a special time with my son.

Suddenly, I miss being a single mom. I miss my old life. I can not stand this kid. What do I do??

Comments

Butterflykissesandlicks's picture

A: Never take her anywhere again. }:)

B: Calm down, no matter what it takes.

What did your parents say?

effigy's picture

Thank You. They said that she is out of control and then commented on how weird it was for someone so young to be so obviously manipulative and damaged. They also said they would not watch her for more than five minutes

effigy's picture

She's four. I wish we had videotaped it. My husband makes nothing but excuses for her. "She was screaming at the magic castle because she wanted to see Belle -- not the other princesses". "I should have known better than to take her on that ride", etc. etc.

Missing_Me's picture

I am sorry that she was able to ruin your trip. It's funny how such little people can destroy something so quickly.

I completely understand about missing being single and your old life.. hang in there hun

Newbie2's picture

I definitely would not let my son grow up around her. That little girl needs help, therapy or something. I grew up with a sister like that and she never changed until she had a child herself. Ugh, good luck. I would research and find a some qualified help to figure whats causing her to act out like that and what you & DH can do to help.

Eyes Wide Open's picture

Let's see, she showed her a$$ and got away with it. Received little or no consequence for it. And what, exactly, did she learn from this? She learned that she was completely in control for the entire trip. She learned that she can make sure that she ruins everything for everyone around her. She learned that Daddy will not say/do a thing to her. I'd say YOU have a major problem brewing here. Chances are, with this behavior and Daddy's failure to correct it, she is going to be one heck of a handful in a few years. I don't envy your position, or your future!

shootingstarz's picture

Ditto.

Butterflykissesandlicks's picture

This is a secret with DH. I can get up to 4 people in all parks for free w/ a 3 day pass to Disneyland/ world because of my dad's previous employment but have not shared this info with DH. No way could I handle SD6 there. No way.

effigy's picture

Yes, she does act this way at home too -- it's constant. She lives with us full time -- mom has her every other weekend. I work at home and tried to have her at home too but she was terrible. She would pee on the floor, break things, throw huge tantrums, etc. Then she went to daycare and they said, "its the weirdest thing, whenever she notices us noticing her having fun it's like she turns it off". It is like having a bomb in your house.

My husband thinks I'm being a huge b i t c h by finally saying that I can't take it anymore. Anytime we try to talk about it the conversation just degenerates into, "fine we'll move out" or "fine, I'll send her to go live with her mother" or "well lets just break up, that's what you want isn't it?".

I can't get across to him how much I had built this trip up in my mind and how disappointed I am by the way she behaved. I had my son by myself (his father moved across the country when I was pregnant) and struggled.. Being able to do this with him was a dream that I had -- it was meant to be very special..I'm sure anybody else who has been in a similiar situation could understand.

I don't know what to say to him to make him understand. Further, he wants suggestions from me..so I suggest that he learns how to control her and he claims that he does. I don't know what else to suggest. Shipping her off -- as nice as that would be -- is not likely to fix the problem.

any suggestions?

simifan's picture

I agree with the others the first "fit" she should have gone back to the hotel room for the rest of the day. The second fit, she would have stayed there all week. Daddy is obviously encouraging this behavior by not doing anything. She needs consequences. Clear out her room & let her earn everything back with good behavior. BTW, she owes your son & parents a big apology. If Daddy won't parent now, what about when she's 15 ?

I also wonder why you let SD ruin your son's time. You should have ditched Daddy & SD

imagr8tma's picture

OMG!!!!! I feel so sorry for your family on vacation with her acting out. I would have split the family. Maybe she would have just been more behaved with her father. I would not have allowed that crap to go on with parents present at all.

He better get a grip on her really soon. There is nothing like a 10 year old throwing tantrums and tearing stuff up cause they can't have their way. Or because everything is not the way they wanted.

We are dealing with a BM who grew up that way obviously and even now - she refuses to believe that the world does not revolve around her. It is just a sin and and shame. Sad

buttercookie's picture

Hate to say this but you need to decide
A. If you want your son raised with this brat
B. How much you can take of this. Your Husband isn't going to change unless he wants to. and she's only going to get worse.
I'd give my husband an ultimatum. He goes to counseling and/or parenting classes in a certain amount of time or I'd put my walking shoes on. Actually I did give my husband that ultimatum with my 19 YO SS, he never did follow through but he did start seeing his guilty parenting and how it was harming his own kid to the point of crippling him.

bruisedpeach's picture

this child needs a parent STAT. aint it shouldnt be you. get that guilty dh off his blind ass horse and make him step up otherwise you are gonna find yourself with him acting the same way with your son.
guilty daddy aint nothing good doll. DISCIPLINE.

effigy's picture

So, I tried talking to him and what does he do? He sends her to her room, screams at her and tells her "if you don't like something just f'ing fake it..that's what daddy does" and "I'm tired of people telling me you're bad". It's pathetic. His parenting is pathetic. I don't know what to do.