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Who do you put as "parents" for step-children?

Eagle Eye's picture

I have raised my BD by myself who entire life. She is now 14 and has no real relationship with her father. DH has been her only father figure and she really does love him!!

Last night we were at school meeting and I was completing paperwork. I normally leave the "father" part blank or cross it out. DH was sitting next to me and said "oh, I like how you just completely leave me out." I was very surprised! I said well legally you aren't her father so I always list him a emergency contact.

Does anyone think I should list him as father even though he has no legal rights?

SS has both his parents because they are both in his life.

Comments

CrystalRE's picture

I list my DH as father on school paperwork. Part of the reason that I do this is that BioDad refuses to give me his address or any other information besides telephone number. I list BioDad as emergency contact.

Sonomama30's picture

LOL!! my daughters father is rarely in her life,, i put the word STEP in front of father for my FH's info,, and for my ss who lives with us, i put STEP in front of the mother info for me. she dosent go to anything school related anyway and she isnt a help as an emergency contact so FUCK HER!!

Unfreakingreal's picture

I list my DH on my Bio's son paperwork. I write STEP in front of father. I write STEP in front of mother for my SS's paperwork when he was in school. They should just add that one the forms since most families these days are blended anyway.

Anywho78's picture

I'm on my Skids paperwork in place of BM but we put (STEP-MOTHER) on it too.

BM Nasty listed only as an emergency contact at their school.

Rags's picture

Yep, list him as "Father". I have been "dad" to my SS-19 since he was 1yo. I always go on the school ppw as "Father".

My perspective is that your DH IS her father so he goes in the Father box on the ppw.

I have never had anyone question my as "Father" and no one has ever evenmentioned the difference in our last name.

The only repricussion I have ever had is that when the school has called me they initially address me as Mr.(SpermIdiot's Last Name). When that has happened I have casually corrected them and moved on with the conversation.

To me this is about who actually acts as the child's father and not who donated the crotch drizzle.

The same applies for the CSP mom's IMHO. Who ever performs the mother or father role for the kid goes in the mother/father box on the school ppw.

CrazyCubanStepMOM's picture

I would definitely put him in as father. We have had custody of my Skids for 6 years and I am on the cards as "mother" we put the step in the front. Since I am the one that deals with all school related things, and the BM is only in the picture when it is convenient for her and has no idea who teachers are or even what school is being attended. I have always been listed as the mom with the step in front. If your DH is acting as the father and the father is not involved them go ahead and put him. I can see where he might be hurt otherwise. Hope this helps and good luck.

BSgoinon's picture

At our kids school there is actually 4 places to enter parent information. You think divorce might be promonate where we live??? There are also boxes to check "mother, father, stepmother, stepfather, legal gaurdian". I always list ALL of us as parents and check the appropriate box.

BSgoinon's picture

I know. It is the norm for us, it has been like that since my oldest went in to Kindergarden (6 years ago).

Jsmom's picture

I do not list DH as father on son's paperwork. Here is the reason, my son's father is deceased and because of that will be able to get more financial aid and scholarships. I was told once by a guidance counselor to make sure I did this and do not let DH adopt my son. Also, we will have to file taxes separately this year and next because of BM and we were also told it would help to only have my income for BS16 when it came time to apply for college financial aid.

If none of these are issues for you, I see no problem putting him down as the "Dad". You have to do what is in the best interest of the child, not the adult who may have their feelings hurt.