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WTF? Why does DH think everything has to be a competition between kids??

Eagle Eye's picture

BD15 has been playing soccer since she was 5 yrs old. She has been playing CLUB soccer for the last 5 years. She basically lives for soccer! She plays on her high school team and just recently broke her leg during a game! She is out for the next 6 months which is quite devasting for her!! She had the accident at the end of the season right before tryouts for the new season. Luckily, her repuation as a great soccer player helped her out!! She was picked up by an even better team even though she can't play right now.

SS14 soon to be 15 has played soccer on and off since he was 9 yrs old. He has always played recreational because he doesn't "love" it. In fact, his mother MADE him tryout for the freshman team in high school. DH was going to let him do nothing! Go figure!!

Well last night DH was asking BD if she plans on playing in high school and OF COURSE is her answer!! She said hopefully she'll get a scholarship!! She said she knows it isn't a sure thing but that is her plan. DH attended a soccer meeting the other night with me and found out that this new team will be doing alot of traveling!! I knew it when I agreed to let her play as did he!! They go to lots of "showcase" tournaments (where colleges are scouting players) during the season! She has been doing out of state tourneys for years!! Now all of a sudden DH announces the SS14 should be playing CLUB!! :O WTF??

The last couple of months I have seen a change in DH. He thinks his dumba$$ kid should be allowed to do everything BD gets to do!! And of course wants me to do it for him!! Hell no!! SS has a mother and a father!! BD has me and that's it!!

BD made straight A's on her report card. SS got a couple of B's to go with the rest of his D's.

BD takes honor classes. BD is responsible. BD does what is expected!

SS barely gets through school. SS lies all the time. SS won't brush his teeth/shower unless told to! He is the laziest kid I've ever known in my entire life!! I have a son who is 25 yrs old so I know all about boys and SS is truly the exception!

If DH wants SS to play CLUB then I guess he'll have to figure it all out!! The sad thing is SS would have to tryout for a team and I seriously doubt he would make it! He excels in video games though!! Does anyone know of a video club? }:)

Comments

Ommy's picture

Club will take ANYONE they have lower level teams...it is all about the money $$$$ I did volleyball all through out high school. I loved club ball, it was so much fun to travel, but it is expensive and should not be blown on a kid that doesnt LOVE the sport.

GoodbyeNormaJean's picture

My DH does this also. Our boys are in the same grade, and our oldest daughters are 13 months apart. I think with my DH, though, a lot of it is because both SS13 and SD9 are developmentally delayed and not the brightest bulbs in the batch...

SS13 is very athletic, but doesn't get good enough grades to play anything through the school. DS13 is extremely intelligent and gets good grades, is on the honor roll, and participates in academic clubs, but doesn't really play a sport through the school. He is in a Parkour club at the local park and swims at the pool at the high school regularly, and he also plays paintball. The boys are just polar opposites.

His daughter, SD9, is very petite and cute, and has the iq of a box of saltine crackers. She is in the 4th grade and was held back once already. DD8 is in the 3rd grade and gets the highest grades. She loves school and school work, reading, and art. She writes plays and poems in her spare time. She is a little bit chubby, but we are working on it. She is swimming 3 times a week. But she's several sizes larger than SD9 and that is mentioned frequently.

SD5 is a pain in the ass, plain and simple. Our youngest daughters are ours together, DD2 (just turned 2 in April, SD5 turned 5 in January) and DD9 weeks. Well, DD2 does 2 year old kid stuff sometimes. SD5 often does the same things, and DH's response is "Well, DD2 just did the same thing, so how can I punish her?" Um, she's freaking 5 1/2. She should have a little more on the ball than a 2 year old, that's how you can punish her.

Lately this has backfired in his face, because when the older girls want to do things, like ride their bike to a friend's house 2 houses down to play, I don't let SD5 go along. If she's going to act like the babies, she can have only the same privelages as the babies.

I hate the comparison crap. The mere suggestion that his kids have anything in common with mine offends me to no end.

Eagle Eye's picture

DH doesn't want to hold SS accountable for his actions because it isn't "fair" that BD gets to do certain things. He told me the other day that the only reason SS14 has a cell phone is because BD15 has a phone!

Well there is another side to that!! SS has crappy grades and gets to do all the same things as BD. BD makes honor roll but that doesn't seem to matter! What exactly is that telling BD? Basically it is telling her it doesn't make a difference that you are responsible!! All that matters is that SS gets to do the same things so nobody's feelings get hurt!

I hate the comparsion crap so much!! These kids have nothing in common and never will and I wish DH would just accept that!! Ugh!!

GoodbyeNormaJean's picture

At my house, if SS gets in trouble and has to be grounded, DH starts trying to find fault with DS so he could be punished too. It makes me sick. I totally called him out about it too. That was the day I disengaged. I made it clear that I will punish my kids and he can punish his.

Riamama23's picture

Totally understand, especially,the your all she has part all to well!! Except my ss is too much of a lazy ass to want to be any kind of active!!!So it's who has the newer video game or you spent that much on your kids shoes and then goes and buys the same pair!!! Lol,but when it comes to sports and grades my kids are always on top Smile