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My siblings put the FUN in Dysfunctional! (NOT about BM, for once!)

Stepmom2Ched's picture

I am estranged from my sister, JK. We never got along growing up. She has personal issues and doesn't own up to past mistakes she's made in her life. She blames everyone else by herself. She constantly digs up the past and holds it against the family. No one in our family gets along with her and just feel better off with her out of our lives...less stress that way.

I got a message on my cell phone today from her. She told me that our mom called her @ work to ask if she would call me to let me know my mom's in the hospital.

Last night my mom fell in a parking lot at a store, & was taken by ambulance to the hospital. Doctors seem to think she had a reaction to insulin. She's type 2 diabetic, and recently--well, about 2 months ago, went on insulin. She had some minor oral surgery shortly after she started the insulin, and since then, really hasn't been able to follow a good diet, because she's had trouble chewing things due to her mouth healing from the surgery.
She saw her doctor earlier yesterday and he was happy w/ her sugar level readings, and wanted her to start decreasing some of her oral diabetes medicine & stay on the insulin.

Well, when she fell, she fell backwards and hit her head. So they braced her neck, and ran x-rays, ct scans, ultra-sounds, blood work out the wazoo to find out what was going on w/ her. They still didn't know as of this evening after she had dinner. They are keeping her overnight.

I live about 200 miles from her, so it's a good 3-4 hour drive to get to her place. My mom knew I was heading down there and was very relieved. She's come to depend on me to help her w/ medical issues.

What the "FUN" part is, is my sister JK & my brother MK both live in the same area as she...and she cannot depend on either one of them to help her. These 2 are natured just alike. They are selfish and only think of their needs first. It's embarassing watching them act this way.

My brother, MK, has really pissed off my mom so much she just wants to run away from him!! Every single time he calls my mom, if he doesn't get ahold of her he'll whine on the message, "mommmyyyyyy, why won't you pick up the phoooonnnneee." This man is FIFTY-FOUR years old and still acts like this. He whines about his health issues and my mom is just so tired of hearing him go on and on about his problems.

So today he called and left a message while I was on the road down here to my mom's house. "Hey, did you hear mom's in the hospital?? Call me when you get this message..." I finally got out of heavy traffic, and called him. He wanted to know DETAILS and such. I told him what I knew. Then he said, "Well, she didn't call ME because she apparently doesn't LIKE me." I said, "Oh, okay...so what makes you think that?" He said, "Well, she's just been really snippy on the phone...do you know why? It's just between you and me, you can be honest."

Oh, boy, NEVER say that to me, because, guess what? I WILL!! I was honest and told him about how mom really hates the medical reports he gives her every single time she talks to him on the phone. He got upset at what I said and I said, "Look,, you TOLD me to be honest...I AM being honest. She has issues too, but she doesn't go on and on about them to you. When you say your doctor thinks you have this, or he thinks you have that, she is just tired of you dwelling on it. She has aches and pains as well, and so do I...but it always comes back to what's wrong with YOU. Haven't you noticed that when you start to talk medical she changes the subject or tells you she has to go? Why not talk about what's going on with the cats, or your wife, or your photography? You know, your hobbies."

He replied, "Well, right now my health IS my hobby." I told him, 'Well, then you need more hobbies." He wasn't happy but you know, I'm not really too worried about it. He is selfish & thinks the world revolves around him & his needs FIRST.

My brother also upset our mom over asking her about this gold pendant that was our father's. My dad was in the military and with his specialty, there was a specific designed emblem. Well, after my dad retired, he and my mom turned in quite a bit of their gold jewelry and my dad had this pendant created that's just like the military emblem. It's quite impressive and the jeweller did an excellent job. He even had some gold left over and created a smaller emblem for my mom. Well, my dad said that he was going to leave this to my brother (his big emblem). My brother asked my mom for it, and she gave it to him a couple years ago. Recently he brought up the idea about taking this emblem into the jeweller and having it melted down and turned into a wedding ring for him because he lost his recently. My mom about had a shit fit and a half. She said, "No, I don't like that idea whatsoever. I think it's disrespectful to your father's memory to do that."

She got to thinking and asked my brother for the emblem to be given back to her. He's stalling on doing this bringing up the fact that dad wanted HIM to have this piece of jewelry. She's just heartsick that he would even think of doing that to it.

My opinion on the matter...if she had offered to give it to him, then no, she doesn't have a right to ask for it back. But he asked to have it before he should have legally received it (it was to go to him after both passed away--it's written in my parents' Trust that way) then Yes, she should get it back. I told her my opinion...and I also told her, "I just want to let you know if I were in that position, I would want to give that emblem to the oganization and have them auction it off for charity. Someone who is IN the organization will really appreciate how beautiful of a job the jeweller did on it." She actually liked that idea. I told her, "He (my brother) has no ties to that organization, so it really doesn't hold the same meaning as it does to you & to dad."

Okay, so fast forward to this afternoon. My mom's in the hospital, and I have to worry about getting HER vehicle back to her house and MY vehicle as well. I'm only one person, and can't drive both at once. So mom calls my sister @ her job and puts me on the phone so I could explain what I wanted. I told my sister, "If it's possible, would you be able to meet me here, follow me to mom's house so I can drop off her car & then bring me back to the hospital so I can drive my own car back to her place?' This was around 4:30 PM when I called. She said "Sure...anything you want... I get off work @ 5pm so I'll head right over there when I'm done."

Mom and I are chatting and the nurse came in w/ meds for mom...while she's doing that, the phone rang. I look at my watch and it's 5:30. I answered the phone and it was my sister. "I just wanted to let you know I won't be able to help you out." I have thought about it and I can't get involved with the family again." I was floored! I said, "It's ONLY a car ride, you can't even do THAT?" She said, "No, I just don't want to get involved." I was LIVID. I said, Well, goodbye." and hung up before she could say anything else.

My mom asked who I had been talking to and I relayed the conversation. We both looked at each other as if to say, "WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT??" (aka, WTF?!) Good Lord, I'd keep my mouth shut the entire freakin' time while she drove me...but she can't stop being selfish & thinking of only HER needs. It's not like we were going to ask for a signed pact agreement, just needed assistance w/ getting a car back to its destination.

So I ended up calling my EX!! And believe it or not, He actually came through and I thanked him and gave him some gas $$...which he didn't want, but I told him to give it to our daughter if he didn't want it. He helped me out and even though I don't really like the SOB (for reasons I won't go into right now), I was able to rely on him.

So I just had to rant about my siblings. The good news is, my sweet, dear husband has a NORMAL family and we both know that if something happened to his mom, none of his siblings would be having any of this frustration--they all work as a team. He is one lucky person and I'm luckier to see a 'normal' family work like it should!!

Comments

Storm76's picture

OMG - your sister & brother really need to grow up methinks! Have either of them even been in to see your mom in hospital?

Your mom should definitely push to get the gold pendant back from your brother btw, whilst I realise some people don't get emotionally attached to items, and once it's been left to someone you don't have any control over what they do, to talk of melting it down to your mom, knowing how much it means to her is completely disrespectful!

I hope you're mom gets better soon & they figure out what made her fall