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When I do the laundry

drew's picture

As a stay-at-home Dad I do all the regular household chores plus other manual and mechanical upkeeps of the house. That said, I was doing laundry today and once again found a feminine pad of my step daughters.

This is not the first time, nor the second or third. I've addressed it to my SD politely. I've spoken to her mother politely. Everyone is clear that it makes me uncomfortable. As the person who most often does laundry I've found a lot of dirty underpants with various things in it as you can imagine. That's fine. I get it. That's why they're in the laundry.

Up until recently SD has worn pads in anticipation of her period (she's soon to be 13). This recently discovered pad is post period and was slightly soiled. It bothered me.

I texted my wife who was working to say what I found and that I've asked SD to please be careful about leaving pads in the laundry many times in the past. My wife's response was not just to say she'll remind SD again, but then went on to list all the disgusting things I do and how everyone else puts up with them without saying a word. How I seemingly find SD disgusting and so forth. Then went on to list a number of other things I have a problem with concerning my SD.

Sigh.

This is the cycle we're in. If somethings bothers me about SD, it's seemingly better for me to leave it alone and deal with it than to bring it up with SD's mother. There is always a reason I shouldn't be put off by whatever I'm put off by when it comes to my SD. I feel as though I'm loosing my mind. As if I'm going to wake up and it'll be al over.

Comments

WalkOnBy's picture

Yup - time for SD to do her own damn laundry.

OP - I am a woman and I don't wanna see someone else's icky period pad. Ewww. Ick. So gross.

If she wants to leave them in her pants, then SHE can be the one to deal with them.

Problem solved.

Nette5's picture

Time for SD to start doing her own laundry! My BS12 has been doing his own (with help & soap pods at first) since he was 8. It is important for kids to learn this before they leave the home... hopefully for you in about 5ish years. Not long for her to learn how to care for herself & her things.

Maxwell09's picture

You should stop doing her laundry. I've seen many blogs on here about female skids and their feminine products being left around. It's disgusting and I count my blessings I have two boys. I think I've read here that the SM will leave skids clothes on the floor if they aren't put in a laundry basket to be washed or leave their dirty clothes in their room if they just leave them out around. You should tell your DW and SD that because you have already asked her nicely to go through her clothes for her dirty hygiene products before you wash them and she hasn't, then SD is now solely responsible for her own clothes unless her mother helps her.

zerostepdrama's picture

Gross. She shouldn't even want the pads to go through the laundry. I'd imagine that would mess up the washer????

At 12, she sounds old enough to do her own laundry or I would just stop doing it all together until she can get her act together.

I'm a woman and I dont want to see anyone else's nasty used pad. I can imagine how it would be for you as a SF.

Ninji's picture

Just because your a SAHD doesn't make you SD's slave. She can do her own laundry. My Skids have been since they were 8 and 10yrs old.

BethAnne's picture

Leave her soiled padded-panties on the kitchen table for her and your wife to find when they get home. Or on SD's bed? Embarrass them into action. Hopefully SD is just forgetful and needs a reminder that will stick in her head to deal with it herself.

Also just a side note, make sure that there is a garbage can in SD's bedroom and one in the bathroom she uses so that she has somewhere to dispose of the pads easily. You could also suggest that your wife buys her some little sanitary baggies that SD can put her pads in. I used to get them when I was younger, they were opaque so you can't see in them and scented to help mask any smells.

Tuff Noogies's picture

nononono DONT make her do her own laundry, u'll end up with a fucked up washer - you KNOW if she's too lazy to dispose of it properly, she'll be too lazy to do so before putting it in the washer. not only will it end up falling apart in the washer and clogging shit up, it will end up all over YOUR clothes. BLECH!!!! :sick: :sick: :sick:

keep a box of latex gloves in the laundry room. when she 'forgets', remove it and stick it to her damn pillow.

your wife is not going to step up to enforce a change here, so you need to decide if YOU will enforce a change.

also, what sort of 'gross' habits was she pointing out to you? (PS, classic "lie, deny, then counter-accuse" tactics...)

Tuff Noogies's picture

ha- stick it on the wife! (proverbially of course!) good one, tho' - if the wife takes it the right way, it'll avoid her defensiveness and counter-accusing.

BethAnne's picture

Hopefully your SD is just forgetful, and as she has only started to use pads recently, I don't think that it is unforgivable that she forgets them every now and then. BUT that is not a reason for you to have to deal with them and for her not to be reminded the be more careful so that it doesn't continue to happen. I'm not trying to say that it isn't gross, but as with any new habit, sometimes we forget. Occasionally I forgot myself 20 odd years after I started menstruating (though I do my own laundry so it is not a big problem for me but still grosses me out a bit).

Snowflake's picture

I would just put the soiled panties in a plastic bin, and ask her mother or her to please wash them. if they don't want to, then stop her laundry all together.

While I think it was a bad move to call your wife at work with that issue, it was also a jerk move for her to call you out on all of your faults.

kathc's picture

I would think that she would be disgusted by her daughter's gross habit and the fact that you are having to clean it up. What the fuck is that woman's problem?

I never, ever have understood this issue either. It seems to happen all the damn time with skids. I've never once, not ever, left a pad attached to panties I've thrown in the laundry. I've also never, ever put soiled panties into the laundry. If you have a "time of the month" accident you RINSE THEM OUT in the sink! Letting it just sit there is gross and they'll be stained and ruined for sure!

Cover1W's picture

I don't have a pad issue yet with SDs, but I do have a filthy underwear issue (better than a no-underwear issue from last year...at least they are wearing undergarments now).
I do most of the laundry in the house (my choice).
I call the shots for DP and SDs; if the laundry isn't ready then I don't wash it.

Yesterday was my day to do SDs laundry (although I am in the process of teaching SD11 how to do her own - yes, it is a process as we all know too well).

SD9 had two filthy pairs of underwear, obviously she's not consistently using TP again.
One pair I decided to wash but the other was simply thrown in the trash. Nope, not going to have that sitting with all other clothing.
SD11 had NO clothes in her laundry basket (a requirement for me doing laundry), but two pairs of gross dirty underwear hanging over the sides, obviously thrown randomly. I was not going to touch them 1) not IN basket and 2) I am not touching those crotches. No laundry of hers was done.

Personally, if I were you those underwear would have been either summarily thrown in the trash or thrown back into her room. Do not deal with it with the mother or the kid.

BeatnLikeARedHeadedStepMom's picture

That's disgusting! I have a similar problem with Squiggles, DD18-going-on-9. She doesn't leave pads attached to her underwear, but it's clear that (TMI, TMI) she's on her period. I told her that I'm done doing her laundry and if she tries to sneak it thru again, I'll leave her dirty underwear on her bed. THAT'll get her attention real quick. I know it sounds gross, but maybe that's an idea?

DarkStar's picture

I think your wife's attitude about it is just as disgusting as those soiled panties.

I would IMMEDIATELY go on strike and tell my spouse that until they decide to treat me like a spouse and not a maid, NOTHING will get done.

We went through the EXACT same thing with SDnow17, but my SO was all OVER her disgusting ass and informed her that behavior was absolutely WRONG.