To update on my last, my boyfriends son video called him tonight (which is the usual weekday thing to do) and usually his son doesn't engage on the call, he usually sits and plays video games and ignores my boyfriend when he is trying to speak to him. The sons mum awkwardly sits there and holds the phone facing towards SS. And because she clearly dislikes my boyfriend so much still she doesn't like to work together to give SS boundaries and respect to engage. And tonight's video call was different, it was like SS who is 8 by the way, had called to say "he didn't know if he could be bothered to see dad on the weekend because where dad lives it is too busy" and SS mum said "oh yes he's been quite upset about coming down at the weekend" ... I found this very odd because the passed 3 years SS has come over to stay for the weekend and has never said this, and it was almost like his mum was encouraging it rather than reassuring him. SS was saying he couldn't be bothered having to walk anywhere. (A lot of the time he will complain about walking and want to sit inside on video games). Also I wanted to know what is the norm for kids at 8 years old to be doing things for themselves ? Because he does nothing for himself , he still has mum and dad check when he's been the toilet and he never tidies his toys away or put his plate in the dishwasher. Don't get me wrong I know kids should be allowed to play but there also needs to be some responsibility and he hasn't got any , it gives me headache thinking about it because he is so lazy and is allowed to be lazy. Not to mention my previous posts of SS disrespectful behaviour. I see my boyfriend tidying his room all the time and I know that's what parents do but I said when are you going to ask him to start tidying his own toys away atleast , and I said he does nothing for himself and my boyfriend got his back up and got defensive asking why I had brought this up now and why had I brought it up again, and I said because nothings changed and my boyfriend litrelly runs around after his son and his son gets to do what he wants. It's like he plays mum and dad off , and now I can clearly tell my boyfriend is threating inside because of tonight's video call with his son not sounding over happy about coming over for the weekend. It's like a constant cycle with this child. Whenever my boyfriend even tries to put in boundaries something pops up where the kid or mum even has that element of control