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LOL Yall made me burn my tea

Dreamer's picture

I was so wrapped up in reading posts I forgot all about it. No really I love you all.

Today in a good day! The girls are at camp, DH is at work, and I'm home aaallll... alone Smile The skids are suppose to be picked up tomorrow by their BM too. If she comes... But I really don't care. If she doesn't then the skids will know once again what I lier she is. We've told them in the past that the things she said about DH and I were lies and now she helping to prove it.

I know she'll spend the next week trying everything in her power to get the kids back but I don't care about that either. SD12 can't go back b/c she's under a court order but SD11 can and I reminded her that if she does then all the school supplies and clothes I've bought so far stay here, b/c I not spending things to BM's house to be roined.

SD11 and I had a conversation this morning about BM. SD11 has spent the past week being a pain in the butt and bragging about BM's house and complaining about ours. That they had dogs there, that they had more land to play on, that BM is a better cook, BM let them stay up later. Well today I had enough and set her down to talk about it.

I reminded her that she and her sister have a dog each here that they ignore, that we live on 7 acres here and she never gets off the couch or puts down the DS to go play on. I also reminded her that she told DH and I that the food was better here b/c BM never cooked vegetables and that the reason she has to go to bed at 9pm is b/c if she doesn't then she's a grump the next day. I told her I try to do my best by her and although I know that she's proud of her mom that I'm tired of hearing about it.

I asked her if she remembered a previous conversation we had about bragging and she said she did. I asked her why she's not suppose to call me mom when she talks to BM on the phone and she said that she didn't want to hurt BM's feelings. And I told her she was right.

I told her that I knew she missed BM and that she wanted to see her but that she was responcible for making her own happiness. I told her if she would quit complaining about our home and BM's home and just enjoy what she has when she has it then she would be happier all around. I also asked her if she planned on bragging to BM about our home and she said no, so I asked her why. She said it would hurt BM's feelings. So I asked her why she felt the need to be snappy at everyone the past week and rub eveything in DH and my face about BM's house. She just shrugged her shoulders. I asked her if she was unhappy here and she said no. I asked her if she had changed her mind and wants to live with BM and she said no. So I told her to get the chip off her shoulder and enjoy the life she has here.

I reminded her that she could visit BM whenever she wanted and that BM could call her and she said "well mom doesn't call and doesn't come get us, she's a big lier". So I asked her is she was going to let her BM roin the rest of her life. Did she plan to punish everyone for what BM did? She said no, so I told her to get up and go think of four fun things that she could do here that she couldn't do at BM's. It only took her a second and she said that "we get to go to the public pool with our friends, we get to go to camp, we get to do things afterschool like Girl Scouts, and we get to talk to you, BM won't tell us the truth. All I told her was "see, everyplace you go has good things about it if you will just look for them".

I don't know if it made a difference or not. If BM doesn't show up tomorrow then I'm sure we will get three more weeks of problems out of her. Just when we get SD12 under control SD11 desides to hit puberty and be just like her big sister! groan...

Comments

Sia's picture

b/c of BM's obvious lack of concern/love for her. My SD used to do the same thing. She would act out every time BM would NOT show for visitation or not call on her birthday, Christmas, or any other major holiday or event in her life. Then I would have the same conversation YOU had w/SD and she would calm down for a while until the next time BM screwed up (which was ALL the time).
Unfortunately, I never had any "magic dust" to sprinkle to make BM act the way she should or help SD's reaction to it. SD was in therapy, and sometimes it helped, sometimes not. If this is going to be a continuing problem w/her, you might want to get her into therapy before she acts out like the other SD did. Good luck Wink

Dreamer's picture

They won't let me cover the Skids on my insurance b/c we don't have full custody of them. DH had to change jobs b/c of SD12's behavior so he won't be eligible for insurance for 60 more days. And of course no one would expect BM to take care of her own kids.

They will be going into therapy as soon as he gets insurance started.

~Don't fear the thorns among the Roses, but be greatful for the Roses among the thorns~

luvdagirl's picture

you handled that beautifully!!!! Nobody could've done better- hats off!

There is no reason where logic does not exist

Dreamer's picture

That makes me smile when someone tells me I got it right for once.

~Don't fear the thorns among the Roses, but be greatful for the Roses among the thorns~