Minor annoyances: SS eating my ice cream
On Saturday, after dinner, SS asked DH if he could have some ice cream. DH said sure but then looked at me awkwardly, asked if it was ok, and said that it was the last of the ice cream ( which means they ate some the night before too). DH probably knew I wouldn't say no because I'm too passive. I also didn't want to act like a spoiled kid who won't share.
I wish it didn't bug me as much as it did/does but I don't want to be spending my hard-earned money on SS. I look at any food brought into the house as mine and DH's but if he wants SS to have treats, he should provide those. I already dislike being around SS so when he eats my food, uses my stuff or gets in my way, I start to hate having him around.
I know a couple bowls of ice cream isn't that big of a deal but all these things add up. Should I tell DH that it annoys me?
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Make sure your SS sees you
Make sure your SS sees you enjoying YOUR ice cream right out of the carton. Drink YOUR chocolate milk right out of the jug. Hide the rest of the shit that you don't want your SS to eat. Worked like a charm for me in getting skids to stop eating/drinking my shit.
and.... Should I tell DH that it annoys me No. You'll be deemed as the adult who is acting childishly and selfishly because SS would be moreeeee than happy to share with youuuuuu. (sarcasm)
It annoys me too. I get my
It annoys me too. I get my stepchildren plenty of their own treats and very few for me. When DH puts me on the spot to ask if they can have my treats it makes me uncomfortable to say no to them but I still feel resentment towards my husband
oh my land... this is enough
oh my land... this is enough to make me want to throat punch someone...
DH (in front of skid): Daizy, can SS have some of your ice cream?
Daizy (to DH): Sure DH
Daizy (in my head) WTF am I supposed to say? No, DH SS can NOT have MY ice cream, I really wanted to have some after dinner and prefer that SS unwashed bathroom hands not be anywhere near it, but I better just say yes and smile or DH and I will have World War 24 over ice cream. UGH resentment now firmly in place because there will be no more ice cream for Daizy since SS in guaranteed to eat it all or leave the remnants inedible due to SS contamination.
My husband won't argue with
My husband won't argue with me about it but the stepchildren will give me sad puppy face, then mad puppy glares. Then run back and tell their bitch mother that Lenore wouldn't even let them have icecream.
If I get the good stuff from Coldstone Ive taken to wrapping it in paperbags and hiding it in the freezer }:)
I bought a small fridge and
I bought a small fridge and keep it in my bedroom. Off limits to Skids period! I think your SS was not in the wrong at all but your DH is. Have you talked with your DH about this and how its making you feel? In a situation like that, you can speak up and you can do it without sounding like a spoiled kid who won't share. For example say "Well lets see how much there is" as you pick up the container to realize that they already had their share then say "where is my share? I didn't buy this to not get any..." and give your DH the eye. Leave your SS out of it bc its the dad just worrying about his kids wants but do it in front of your SS. You can even suggest "DH go get some more so we all can enjoy some then!" and be firm about it so he doesn't go Disney dumb on you.
I learned early on to respond
I learned early on to respond with..."sure you can have some of my ice cream. Just make sure to replace it by tomorrow evening so I can have some too."
Believe me...when DH has to stop at the store every day to replace what they are eating, he will curb the snacking
DH used to help me hide the
DH used to help me hide the goodies when SD lived with us. Ice cream behind the broccoli is a sure bet to stay undiscovered!
hahaha! your example
hahaha!
your example conversation cracked me up!
sd20 used to be horrible about this. food was a huge hot button for me where she was concerned. i worked hard for my money, so seeing her heap up a huge bowl or plate or fill up a huge glass, take 2 bites or sips and throw the rest away, day after day after day, really pissed me off. we had many heated discussions about this before i started making her plate myself, and she got a toddler plate. she looked pissed off and put out the first time i did it, and i ignored her. fdh saw her face and told her she's getting a toddler plate because she wastes so much. wasn't long and she wanted to waste again, and this is always after announcing how STAAAAARRRRRVVVVVVIIIINNNNGGGG she was. fdh knew i was about ready to blow and he told her he would feed her a spoonful at a time if that was what it was going to take to put an end to her extreme wastefulness.
i don't even believe in making a kid eat more than they want. that shit was done to me all the time as a kid. then my abusive sf also liked to deny my brother and i a drink until we ate the way too much food on our plates. so we sit there stuffed and dehydrated and can't do anything about it. however, when sd was claiming to be starving and making her own plate, i damn well expect her to know how much she can eat and not fill a huge plate to take 2 bites, which is apparently enough to put an end to her extreme starvation. (eye roll).
i was really pissed one afternoon when i asked fdh to stop at the store to get me chips and salsa to take to work with me that night. sd was with us and knew i specifically asked him to get that for ME to take to WORK for lunch. as soon as he gets out of the store with my food, she says "dad, can i have some of that when we get home?" my blood was boiling. i was fucking pissed. i just cannot have anything that is only mine, EVER. after she moved out, she got in the habit of showing up all the time with her bf with no warning, staying for 3 or 4 hours, and eating everything in the house, offering it to her bf as well. sure, come on over and bring your bf and eat us out of a week's worth of food. i don't mind. i have a money tree in the back yard. i can easily replace what you eat every time you come here. help yourself. God knows you're going to anyway!
another time, i was making dinner and here come sd and bf pulling in. fdh asks me if there's enough for them. um, NO. i did not know they were coming! turns out, he knew and didnt bother to tell me. i guess i was just supposed to know because of my ESP. i was pissed. i told him if he had BOTHERED to TELL ME they were coming, i would have made enough. but he didn't. so why the F would i make enough food for 2 extra people if i'm not expecting them? dumb ass. make me look like a fucking jerk because i didn't make enough food because he didn't fucking tell me we were having "guests" that would be showing up WHILE i'm making dinner.
grrrr. doesn't matter how much time passes, this crap still pisses me off when i think about it!