have a step son.. omg!
ok. I seriousy need to vent... I have a relationship with a great guy I have to know him since high school... well we just met up two years ago after both our marriages were a disaster wit last ex. Any way my fiance has 3 children and so Do I. My children are 18 boy 16 boy and a girl whos 14. my step son the ones whos living with us is 13 thinks hes 20. has done the following..hollered scream at me.. got in my face like a drill sergent.. call me names.. curse at me.. swung at me.. has add and ADHD issues and we tried going to counseling but he denies to go I think it is because he does get help and he just can't stand the fact that life happens and if it doesn't have Minecraft or some PlayStation or Xbox in his way he just doesn't care,, as his teacher says he shows no motivation he is smart kid. just don't think right and thinks his dad will baby him on everything he does and lets him get away with it.. it also happens to his mom and her boyfriend of 3 years.. he's done these things to his moms boyfriend also and gets the parent to rebel on the stepparent side and think he does nothing wrong. kinda like the kid is an angel.. like the movie problem child... gets away with it all. it is lead down to meeting at school.. getting to know his schedule helping him cause he isnt ready for 7th grade and them passe so of course it's my responsibility to help him get caught up and help him be more organized,, boy was that a joke.I have a meeting she gives me his work and all i get are excuses.. liek this is old we never did that.. I never have homework.. i mean for real.. when we do homework its.. i cant see.. my foot hurts I need a nap.. can i go outside.. like every 5 minuted he thinks he's going to die.we end up fighting for hours on end at night then 9 oclok comes no supper no bath, no clothes washed all because someone wanted to fight intended and then say well since I didn't get a bath or clothes I can't go to school.. and pull off these pranks. I am getting blamed for things missing out his room during the day, while I'm at work,,, like WTH+ .. I got accused of taking his PlayStation apart and it not working when I clearly caught him in the middle of taking it apart.. in a thousand pieces.. mind u it cost 300 dollars 2 months ago.. i ever get a break. this has never happened and i plan on getting to the bottom of his little trip.. cause I'm about to be the evil step mother.. my kids never in there life hollered or was mean to me like this one is... out of hand and teenager on the rampage is what's going on... anyone else...
Need some advice on to stop this trippy kid
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Your "great guy" is
Your "great guy" is OK with his son swinging on you, screaming in your face, and cursing at you? And why is his homework and discipline when he breaks his Playstation your responsibility? His father needs to parent him. Not you. You are falling into the classic stepmother trap of thinking that you "have to" do things. You don't.
The great dad..
Exactly my theory
You can’t do more then his parents.
you should not do more then his parents. Except if he screams at you then he’s out of the house. His father can take his somewhere else
If he ever touches you, call
If he ever touches you, call the police! Immediately! Its the only way he will get help
A man who neglects his child
A man who neglects his child's needs for discipline and structure, babies him into failing at life, and allows him to be aggressive towards me, is not my idea of a "great guy".
None of what you are doing to help this kid will work if his bio parents don't care about any of it. Stop doing more than they do and let your fantastic fiance know that he needs to parent his own feral kid.
this is correct. i have now
this is correct. i have now disengaged in all his activitied and homework and schoolwork.. the father will now take over.. lets see what happens.. update soon.. :)
im stopping it all.. you guys
im stopping it all.. you guys are right. i read a counceling on step parents where it says disengage from it all and le the dad take over. let him see what i go through and then see it wont be easy on him. :)
So, what does your SO do when
So, what does your SO do when he screams at you?
Where's your SO
in all this? Why isn't he doing his job as a parent? A 13 yo doesn't get to decide not to go to therapy. He goes and that is all there is about it! Why isn't your SO taking him? He yells in YOUR home? Why isn't your SO correcting that? Why did you get landed with the school work? Not your child, not your problem. Time for his father to step up and do his job for once.
Finally, the first time he took a swipe at me would have been the last time. That would be ultimatum time for me. Either your SO shapes up or he moves out with his demon child. I would not tolerate having a violent bully in my home.
not giving up!
we have no other problem with each other.. its the problem child.. good example i asked him to not eat in his room.. therefore i said it nice.. due to me being so OCD,, and his chore yesterday was to clean his room which is nothing but filth. can post pics.. and the morning in ranting because i feel like i walk around with this big no symbol from only his child that dont want to listen to nothing i say.. anything i ask that child to do.. he just plain ole dont do nothing.. literally ..i wake up go check his room.. still dirty.. still filthy with bowls food cups plates and literally making me got to take a nerve pill and getting ready for work.. he came home I showed him what I'm talking about and I begged him to please try to do something cause I am about to go to crazy.. this little acting like he hears me but yet plays the .. im not going to.. watch me... is so much ticking me offf. i feel like im so trying hard and they get aggravated at me.. like i want this to work i need some positive help here. I have scheduled for counseling for this help.. I want to just be respected and a child that actually listens to me. it would make it easier
You may not have any other
You may not have any other problems but the one you have is gigantic. You say you just want to be respected but even your SO is not showing any respect for you because if he did he'd straighten his kid out pronto! The problem is not you, it's not even the teen, it's your SO who is standing by and letting a bad situation deteriorate when he should be taking charge of it.
Clean it up while he is not
Clean it up while he is not home and throw his shit away. My parents did it to me and ive done it to my bio kids. Learned my lesson
"it's my responsibility to
"it's my responsibility to help him get caught up and help him be more organized"
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^Why is this your responsibility and why is his father not putting his foot in this disrespectful kids @ss???
You have three kids and your own responsibilities to worry about. Either your SO regulates this situation, you disengage, or just leave. This kid is abusive and next time the only thing he wont' do is yell but perhaps get physical. Life is too short for all that BS. Take action now!
omg this is too much for you
to handle! I'm not understanding why your dh doesn't step in and why this behavior is allowed to continue. If your ss is only 13 he shouldn't have a say in wether or not he goes to counselling, your dh should just take him. Has your dh done anything to gain the tools you all need to deal with out of control behavior like this? Why does dh even let him have his video games if he's pulling this? Your dh needs to put his foot down with this kid or he is going to be a nightmare in a couple of years. I don't blame you for disengaging, you should do it to protect yourself!
Update
Family meeting tonight! I have called several counters and my SO is helping me straighten or he can go back and live with his dead beat mom. I told him I’ll even move out which he don’t want. We both want to correct him now before it’s to late as of the morning he has no more electronics and found out he has 10 missed assignment in school everything I been doing is all working “Didengaging” now the school is calling him with problems and he sees now what I deal with. To be continued when I get home I’ll update after the meeting.. no more ms nice step mom lol this is my turff