I had a long chat with my dh about everything that's going wrong from manners to hygiene to screen time and never getting alone time. He said things will change. He said he has been really lazy parenting and it has to stop. He just needs to get his bum in gear etc. Everything I was hoping for tbh. There was no anger towards me he didn't get annoyed at me pretty much ranting about his lack of parenting and all the ridiculous stuff skids do that I find disgusting. He even agreed with 99% of it but said he just doesn't notice/pay attention. He even said the youngest sd needs to stop with the I'm coming and going home whenever she feels like it. And he will not be doing that anymore.
I used phrases I've read on here too which I think helped a bit cushioning the blow. Eg I don't want to be the mean step mother who makes them do everything while you get to be fun dad. I want to be their friend not their parent. And my favourite I can't care more than you do.
However how much are we betting none of these "changes" come? I so badly want to hope that this is the turning point and he will start actually parenting them but I'm definitely cynical. Any success stories? Any unsuccessful stories?