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Not sure what to do.

daysleeper's picture

SD is five. She will be six in April. BM continues to send her over to our house with dirty shirts, shirts that she has worn and sweated in and then taken off, so that SD can sleep in them/cuddle them/wear them.

SD constantly says that she wants/needs these shirts because they "smell like Mama." However, every time she leaves (we have her EOW), if there is dirty laundry in her room, I wash it - and that includes these shirts. She hasn't slept with a shirt that actually smelled anything like "Mama" in over two months, and yet she begs for them because she misses her mother and wants the "smell".

Should I just tell her that we wash the shirts? I want so badly to break her of this brainwashing, but I'm not sure how ethical it is. What are your thoughts?


Ommy's picture

get rid of them and tell her that one of santas elves stopped by to give her a new toy, stuffed animal, or blanket and the elf was cold so he borrowed them for himself and the reindeer......

daysleeper's picture

That's not all that BM sends over. She sends over books with her recorded voice on them as well, so that SD can "listen" to BM "reading" to her.

ConfusedStep's picture

Seriously, that's just gross. I would throw them out and tell BM to quit sending her crap there or you'll just throw them out.

The teddy bear idea is a good one too. Maybe one that doubles as a pillow or a big snuggly one.

daysleeper's picture

Yeah, I think that BM is catching on to the fact that they've been "disappearing", because the last time that SD brought a shirt over, she told us that she "has to bring Mommy's shirt back". Biggrin

ConfusedStep's picture

I'd givenher one warning with the books too or she'd be reading to the trash can. Ugh! If I had to listen to BM's voice in my house.

bi's picture

get her a pillow pet sprayed with bm's perfume that she is to keep in her room only. i would tell bm that her dirty shirts are not welcome in my house.

daysleeper's picture

I'm wondering if this will cause a fight, since there are things in the divorce decree that state that SD can bring over any personal item (to my knowledge) that belongs to her. Although technically, the shirt does belong to BM. I'd love to tell BM that, but I'm so sure that it'll just cause more drama.