OT- new job and my Dad
I've blogged before about my Dad. No filter, getting worse as he gets older. My brother is about 2 years younger than me, we are in our mid-40s. My brother has always been the protected golden child with both my parents even though he is the one that got in the most trouble, never finished school, never got a real job, etc.......basically he gets rewarded for breathing and my achievements are just not quite ever good enough. Dad and I live in the same town. I help Dad out when he needs it, do the occasional lunch/movie thing, watch his pets when he goes out of town, etc.
Bro lives in Colorado 12 hours away from us, he has his own trailer home (bought with inheritance from Mom), washes dishes at a local restaurant, and smokes copious amounts of weed. He used to be the nicest guy, give the shirt off his back type of person, but years of being alone and stoned has worn away his social skills and whatever niceness he used to have. So he's a jerk. Calls me a "flatlander" that sold my soul "to the man" because I have a job and a mortgage and live in a suburb. A couple of years ago bro was in my town visiting for Thanksgiving and he had brought some pot cookies with him, you know, heaven forbid he goes without weed for a few days. He left his bag open on the floor and FDH's dog got into it and ate them. She was OK, puked most of it up. To this day, bro blames the DOG for getting into his cookies. This past winter when I went to visit him to go skiing ended up in a horrible fight. He called me the "C word" twice among other choices names. It got ugly, I thought he might hit me for a minute. I told him I was never visiting him again and he was not welcome at my home for a while. We didn't talk for a while and now we just send the occasional generic text.
Dad is unhappy with the situation, of course, siding with stoner-bro and I'm just a big meanie. Dad asks if I think bro is happy. I say no, because happy people don't usually spend half of their time ripping apart other people and how they live their lives. So Dad asks if I know this, why don't I have some sympathy or empathy for him. Um, because he CHOSE THIS LIFESTYLE AND HE'S 44 YEARS OLD. He wasted oodles of opportunities to do other things and if he doesn't have the insight or ability to face up to that fact, and would prefer to be an ass to everyone as a result, then he can stew in his own juices. To paraphrase Dr. Phil......you can call me the C word, but you're going to do it from afar.
So, present day. I have been without a job since October. I'm in IT. Long story short, my boss HATED me and I was outspoken. There was a lot of political two-stepping at this job and I was a horrible dancer. I was careless and gave him a reason to fire me. He was a jerk, but it was my fault in the end. I didn't tell Dad for a couple of months about it and my contact with him in these past few months has been sparse because, well.....I feel bad enough already and didn't need the constant reminder from Dad how much I screwed up my life. Many interviews, 2nd interviews, and as UE benefits are running out, I'm panicking and feeling pretty down. I just got hired at a well-known large international company as a contractor. At least one year, probably more. This company has almost all of their IT staff as contractors, some people have been there as contractors for 10+ years, they joke that there's more stability in being a contractor than an FTE. So, very happy, and proud of myself, I go to pick Dad up for lunch and share the good news. His first reaction, "Are you sure this is what you want to do? (contracting)". Um yes, yes, it's fine and perfectly acceptable in the field that I am in. The little girl in me that still craves daddy's approval said, "Dad, I'm making XX$$ an hour!!!!!!" Dad says, "Oh, well that's good." Then in the next breath says, "You probably shouldn't tell your brother that, it would make him feel bad." Wow. Really????? REALLY??????? The convo decompensated from there and we didn't make it to lunch.
That's my Dad. He doesn't so much as kick you when you are down as much as he kicks you when you are UP.