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snowed in

Cover1W's picture

Fantastic. I love snow. But why couldn't it have held off until YSD was with BM? It's impossible to get her out of our neighborhood, much less to drop point. I did suggest that DH borrow neighbor's all wheel drive tomorrow. But I think he's going to declare impassable roads and keep her here. This'll be fun. More snow is expected so ughhhhhh if she's here another 5 days.

At least she's in the shower. For about 45 minutes now. But I can't say anything because last time DH objected to putting limits on it. So I'll need a shower later after my workout....and I'll let myself get stinky. Sorry need hot water tank to refill.

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tog redux's picture

Ugh, the thought of 45 minutes in the shower makes my skin itch. Seems to me that if you need a shower, you should be able to set limits on the time she is in there. 

Cover1W's picture

Granted I didn't need it right after but the no limit thing is not good anyway. Drain the tank. We also have septic so longer showers aren't good for that as either. But I'm spitting into the wind essentially.

If I did need it I'd have no problem booting her out.

tog redux's picture

I assume you guys don't generally get a lot of snow? It's rare for the roads to be impassable for two days here. 

Cover1W's picture

Correct. What happens is it was raining, turned below freezing, and under about 5" of snow is ice. Add in lots of hills. My car is not good in it. DH might do ok but the hill to the drop point is closed. He could drop her off tho at the top. But it's going to be well below freezing. And that's IF her mass transit even shows up.

DH was telling her it will be "too dark and cold" in the morning and totally skipped over the DANGEROUS roads and lack of transit. WTH? Be honest. But I'm just letting it play out.

strugglingSM's picture

Wow! I like long showers and I think 10-12 minutes is my limit. I grew up with a 4-minute timer for showers. Anything more and one member of the family would not get hot water. 

missgingersnap2021's picture

I am so sorry for you! I know what its like to think SD is leaving at such and such a day (or even hour) and then it is extended! I a writing this right now as she is getting ready to leave and its like the second she walks out the door I can start enjoying the day! 

As for the showers I would fight my DH over this IF you are the one paying the waterbill. I pay the water and electric bill and our water is almost $100 every month. That's with normal showers. SD did 3 loads of laundry yesterday becuase the 3rd one was one sweatshirt! I will be talking to her next time she is here (I couldnt say anything last night becuase we had her boyfriend over for dinner) and tell her she cant waste that much water and electricity washing one item! It's like why do we have to tell skids the common sense things? Becuase our husanads are SOOOO scared of teaching their kids anything or telling them no about something!

Cover1W's picture

The only thing that saves me from complaining about the water bill is we are on a private well system so it's super cheap. AND she only showers 1x or 2x per week (yes, 2x at the most) at almost 16. It's just something that drives me nuts because I never know when she's going to do so so I have to put off running the dishwasher, doing laundry and my own shower....just the usual lack of consideration.

Persephone_'s picture

My DH has double standards on showers, for me and my kids it seems he is always counting the minutes we are in and complaining if it goes too long. For SD, who really is the crazy long showerer of us all he turns a blind eye. I have mentioned it before, oh no SD has been in for 25 minutes, aren;t you worried about the water bill like you usally say when you reprimand me and my kids? Gotta love a disney dad mini wife combination and the way they can't ever see pookie doing anything wrong.

Cover1W's picture

HA.  So DH had a discussion last night with SD that there's NO WAY she's getting to the transfer point in the morning. The roads were just way, way too bad. Well, BM suggested she walk to the bus "snow route" - What the effing HELL?  I would like her gone but NOT against her own safety!  I told DH it's going to be 16 degrees in the morning plus windchill - she has NO warm clothes here, let alone for that cold...can you say frostbite!, and the buses are not running basically a "snow route" is a best guess. Once she gets there she cannot ask you to come get her when it doesn't show up because our cars cannot make it down/up the hill where the snow route stop is. No."

So he proceeds to tell her no because it's "too dark and too cold" and doesn't mention the DANGER for her or the driving issue so she responds that it's going to be cold and dark in the afternoon too.  WTH - "Be honest with her DH, stop pussy-footing around the real reason!"  He doesn't do this. BM texts him about a morning or afternoon drop off....he starts justifiying with this long text. "DH just tell her morning is NOT an option and afternoon is TBD until road conditions can be assessed. Short and to the point."

This morning roads ARE too bad still for travel and the transit option/buses are not running at all.  Litke I thought. Told him to keep watching the road conditions site for our area.

Also told him the main hill down to the drop off point is closed due to ice. He'll have to either drive partway down to turn-around point and she'll have to walk if the other direction is also impassible and she has to dress appropriately (her old-too small winter coat and whatever scarves and socks he can convince her to wear).

tog redux's picture

He should tell BM that he feels the roads are unsafe but she's welcome to slide over to your place to pick up SD herself. Why is he reluctant to tell SD the roads are dangerous? 

Cover1W's picture

Yeah, I mentioned that since BM has the better snow car then she can come get her if she thinks it's so easy. 

Any mention of "the real world" to YSD is a no-go. Must protect her to her detriment at all times. I mean, we got in a bit of an argument last week because she literally aksed me how to get her food out of her take-out container...sat there confused.  I said "Really? You cannot figure that out, come on!" DH then all nicey-nice from the kitchen, "Oh, SD, do you need a serving spoon? I can get one for you."  Thus cue my snarky attitdue directly at him, then he names me the one who is starting an argument. Fun times. It's why I say nothing. I slip every so often.

missgingersnap2021's picture

This is my life  even now with SD being 17!! I think all divorced men are from the Twighlight Zone!!!

tog redux's picture

How is "the roads are icy" more real-world than "it's dark and cold"? Very strange. 

Cover1W's picture

DH has a very real problem talking straight to YSD. He'll hem and haw around the subject rather than just be 100% up front. I have no idea why - something from his childhood most likely and a fear of her disliking him?  I have no idea and yep, I've talked with him about it a LOT. Nothing solved, ever.