DH's sister and cousin came to visit us the past week for a couple days, it was so nice to see them since they live a long way away.
It was funny to see YSD17's interactions with them. She beat them to our house, which we didn't think would happen the day they arrived but that was good. DH warned her when he brought her home that she had to make her own dinner while we picked them up since she wouldn't eat what I made, and she did. So we had a nice meal together that night. Sis and cous asked about her meal/food choices, not critical but with interest. Again, she could barely iterate why she is vegan and again, denied she's vegan, just "vegetarian with lactose intolerance." 1) at least she's no longer claiming "allergy to dairy" like she'd go into anaphylactic shock if she ingested any and 2) she IS vegan, no animal products at all, she's stopped eating eggs too. Not sure why she denies it.
She was pretty engaged with DH's sis - much more so than she EVER is with me, EVER. I hope DH saw the difference. She has LESS contact with sis. Cous gave her a hard time but YSD doesn't take jokes well so she didn't know how to react - LOL. Cous is smart and calls people out and YSD didn't like that.
The next day we were all pretty much up around 8 am. YSD has to leave this day, yes, less than 24 hours here, at around 4:00 pm. I made breakfast, we chatted, caught up. No sign of YSD at all even by 11:30, but I did hear her up around 9 or so. Sis commented, that she heard YSD finally up. I said, yes, she's been up for a while now. Sis, "Why doesn't she come up?" Me, "I don't know and cannot make her do so, and I know it's rude...you'll have to ask DH." (sis knows the situation and reasons for my disengagement). Sis agrees with me and asks DH, "Where is YSD, why is she not up here visiting?" DH, laughs a little, "I don't know!" and goes back to what he was doing. I think OSD must have heard (sis is not quiet) - she comes up a bit later, close to noon. Apologizes, and says she was engrossed in reading her book. What book sis asks, "Oh it this one, it's for a younger age group but I like it, it's not for school." She reads on her own books for age group about 5 years younger - by choice. Sis was a bit taken aback but moved on.
We ended up doing a few things that day, with YSD along - but she didn't bring her bag with her so we ended up having to go all the way back to the house early so DH had time to get her things then drop her off. Sis and cous asked me then about her food situation, why she mumbled all the time when she spoke (a constant peeve of mine DH lets her get away with), why her mom's house was so important and expressed concern I couldn't intervene or act more parental....
Both of them thought she acted much younger than she is and noted several lies she told (that she comes here every weekend - not true - and that she keeps in touch with a couple friends in our area - again, not true).
It's nice to be validated!