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I have moved on....

Cover1W's picture paper plates for myself.

No one is unloading the dishwasher. It's been clean for more than a day. I refuse to touch it.

YSD has NO school today. DH and her are planning on going for a bike ride later on. I am working my rear off at work, no time. DH can complain all he wants to about how busy he is around his deadlines, and when YSD isn't here I do the majority of the cooking/cleanup but I'm dammed if I'm going to do it when she's here and she's got free time and I don't. Esp. when DH makes free ttime to go do things with her.

Disengagement:  Finding options that keep you out of what you know is going to start an argument, even if you are right.


IDontCare3117's picture

Stock up on plastic silverware, too.  

What's your Chinette pattern?  I'll kick in a couple of bucks for a gravy boat.  

MissK03's picture

One thing I won't do is dishes. I'll rinse stuff off but, I haven't done dishes in years. I create maybe 4 dishes a week besides forks, knifes.. depending what we eat for dinner. SO and skids do dishes. 

We use paper plates.. if we didn't we would never have plates lol. 

Cover1W's picture

I'll clean up dishes and do some washing if DH cooks and I do nothing. No issue there. However, if I am also loading the dishwasher with those dishes and making sure it's run, then someone else can put away the clean dishes.  Because then there's dirty dishes I couldn't finish cleaning from dinner stacked in the sink  and then during the day, DH and YSD load up the sink with their dishes.  I make very sure I clean up ALL my stuff from the day so nohting of mine is ever in there. 

I don't yet know what DH is doing for dinner tonight.  All the clean forks are in the dishwasher along with all the bowls. No idea what he's going to cook. It's almost 6:00.  Likely something without veg or minimal veg because he usually is too overwhelmed to cook veg on top of everything.  I eat a lot of apples during the day when it's his cooking week.

ndc's picture

I'll bet you anything that he takes only what he needs from the dishwasher and leaves the rest of the clean dishes there.

Cover1W's picture

That's what's happending now.  Dishwasher is STILL not unloaded. He made a sort of attempt to have YSD help him clean up last night after dinner, but you know it was one of those "not really" asks, "Hey, YSD, why don't we all clean up the kitchen here, you think that would be good...?" And I looked at him askance ("we" does NOT include 'me' DH!) and he backtracked everything, started to clean up, got overwhelmed and gave up. So dishes are overflowing sink onto counter. We have no forks and almost no clean spoons in the drawer. Both DH and SD are just pulling clean ones out of the dishwasher. NOT MY PROBLEM.

caninelover's picture

You are stronger willed than I.  When I was single I would clean all the dishes every night as I hated waking up to dirty dishes in the sink in the morning.  It made me anxious and feeling like I started the day behind already.  

When SO and I moved in that was a rule he had to adapt to, and when SD was living with us so did she (kicking and screaming as she was never used to cleaning up after herself - her servant I mean father would always do it).  But eventually even she figured out I wasn't going to let that rule go.

Cover1W's picture

DH and I have got into arguments over the kitchen and after so many undermining situations I just decided if he thinks so strongly HE can deal with it. I refuse to clean up after TWO other able bodied and capable people.

I ran the dishwasher yesterday again and yes, it's still there, clean and not put away, dishes stacked up. I do hate it but he can clean it. If YSD or DH would simply unload it I would take care of the dinner dishes. But nope.

DH has a low clean level. He literally doesn't see messes. Until they are cleaned up. Then he says he likes a clean home too. But doesn't get how to do it. His ADD is a part of it, but things like his yoga mat left in the living room for two days now? He knows. It's lazy. I'm going to start throwing things down the stairs again.....