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I engaged darn it! I know better!

Cover1W's picture

LOL - omg as it was coming out of my mouth I was like "nooooooooo don't sayyyyyy it...." But too late. 

DH went to the store the other day, which is his responsiblity the week YSD is with us (which could be for one day or five...who knows!?).  He'll ususally load up on stuff he and she like while getting very little to no regular items which I do on the other weeks and he pays part of since it's for everyone.  So it works out.

ANYWAY - he got some special items that YSD particularly likes but never ever asks for. I don't buy special things because she cannot ask for anything at all, ever. She's 16 - if you want or need something you have to ask because I don't mind-read. So DH gets these things, some for himself too. YSD doesn't touch them that night. Gets her lunch together yesterday morning and DH drops her at bus. Last night DH goes to fridge to get some of what he bought. The ENTIRE unopened container is gone. DH asks me, "Did YSD take ALL of the stuff?" Me, "I have no idea, if it's not there then she took it all this morning." DH is not happy. Then I, to my chagrin say, "You know, she's been doing that lately...if you buy stuff for more than just her she shouldn't take ALL of it, especially if it's unopened, with her."  WELL I am clearly the BAD PERSON nos because, "It's just the things, who cares? My daughters never ask me for anything so she can take what she wants, why is it a problem, you know?!"  Okay EFF IT again. Not a word.

He then told me later that spring break is coming up and when she'd be at our place and some things she was going to have to do. I said, blankly, "Ok then." Zero help.

It never ends. Back to it.


CLove's picture

LOL, DH told me the other week "yeah, Im thinking of giving SD15 B/M an allowance and having her do chores around the house..."

asked him the other day "so did you get that allowance thing figured out?"

Nope. Not going to offer any suggestions. Left it at that. Ask no questions have no arguments or problems. Id address it directly with her, with your H right there so no, ahem, MISUNDERSTANDINGS happen.

missgingersnap2021's picture

It is amazing how basic things like groceries become such a pain in the ass in the stepworld!!! My DH buys things for SD17 to eat when she is here. I stopped years ago. DH annoyed me a few weeks ago becasue he kept on and on saying how he helped me by buying some groceries. NO DH you went and bought a bunch of crap you and SD like (cookies, cand etc) and, at the most, he bought 3 things for meals (one being a .99 cent bag of rice!). And why on earth did your Sd think she had the right to take an entire container of something? And I love how all we do is state something obvious and we are the villians! I still say divorce lawyers are handing these men a manual that tells them to act like this - to jump on their new wives for every little thing, to coddle their kids and to act complelty different and usually unaffactionate when skids are around!!!

Aniki-Moderator's picture

"DH, do not ask me again if YSD 'took it all'. Ask SD. That will be my answer to any similar questions going forward."

Tried out's picture

he sets you up by acting out a complaint about his kid, you respond with a fix for problem and then you're the bad guy. It's almost like he's daring you to comment.

Totally unfair. He's pissed (justifiably) at his kid and turns it around so he can direct his anger toward you and not her.

Crr18's picture

It gets so annoying when these DH asks  for your opinion/solution and then you Let them know because more then likely you have the right solution and then they think it is because you don't like their child. Then just quit asking and mess your child up on your own. 

Merry's picture

So he was irritated. Until YOU said something. Then he suddenly wasn't irritated. That one is right from the coddling playbook.

Even after years of practice, my mouth sometimes still gets ahead of my brain.

Evil4's picture

That's interesting that you say that he was irritated until SM said something.

I'm wondering if these idiot dads are so afraid of being irritated with their DDs that they set a trap for their DWs just so the dad can redirect his irritation onto SM. 

shamds's picture

Loads of non stop vomiting i would easily vomit 5 times within 1.5 hrs, no anti nausea meds helped eventually i started vomiting bile and then blood. 

i had to drink powerade/gatorade (those sports hydralyte drinks) to replenish the lost sugars in your body before i could keep any liquids down.

here i am 2nd trimester and bough 6 of the 500ml bottles to last the next week. Put it in the veggie compartment of fridge hidden between the veggies 

went to bed around midnight  there were 6 bottles. 8am stuggled to walk downstairs as needed the drink as vomited so much i was so light headed like i was gonna faint. All 6 bottles drank by ss17.5

the little shit drank 3litres within the hours of 3am to 8am as i heard him leave his room at 3am

i message hubby pissed off he took my things, pregnancy things to help me survive this pregnancy and the nonstop vomiting and hubby says don't worry i'll get some in the way home from work

my response was "so what am I supposed to do with the fact i feel like i'm gonna faint and can't keep anything down"

hubby told ss off that he was not to touch these things. Ss thinks he has an automatic right to my personal belongings and hubby explained things that are there you clearly know aren't common shared household things so don't touch it.

never again did he steal our food/drink items

Exjuliemccoy's picture

Ugh Cover, your H's daughters are so annoying and weird. Between this, Urinegate, and your H's volte face, I'd be investing in some voodoo dolls. Your disengagement game is strong, girl.

Cover1W's picture

The ARE wierd, so so weird. And annoying after that. They have been socially stunted by both BM and DH.

CLove's picture

So just the other day, when I was grabbing some parsley for cooking, I saw that there was a large amount of dog poop in the backyard and I had to be really careful where I stepped, so as to not step in it.  Its SD15's only chore at our house. Really, thats it. And she does it once every two weeks. Because he asks her to do it the Monday of her week with us, a whole week goes by, then shes at her mothers for another entire week. So, big surprise theres a lot of dog poop out there.

I casually mention to Husband "can you please have SD15 pick up dog poop Monday, because there is a LOT out there". He gets irritated and tells me "LAST week she was out there and picked up a LOT of dog poop, almost 15 pounds of it, so dont try to tell me shes not picking it up". Seriously. Its her only chore in exchange for 75$ phone bill, its over a 2 week period of time and its HIS dog. SO, I gave up discussing it. Just like what happened with you - anything you say about skid that is at all negative and "you just hate my kid". Because they cannot answer anything else I guess.

I refuse to pick up after the dog. And Skid is almost 16 and can get a job. And do most chores. The fact that these "parents" direct their irritation on us the easy targets is making me so mad right now.

stepmomnorth's picture

CLove my first instinct was to say that you could give her another yard job that involves having to walk through the grass nonstop, like a gardening chore. Then she realizes there is poop everywhere. Lol!! Natural consequence. I'm bad :) 

Exjuliemccoy's picture

WTH?? Don't allow your H to speak to you that way, Clove. Send HIM out to cut herbs, or don't finish preparing the meal. Or, walk out of the house without a word, get in your car and leave. Come back a few hours later with some herbs from the store. The point is, consequences EVERY TIME your H dares to take tone with you.

And start making HIM clean up poop on the week SD is at her mom's. It's not good for a lawn to leave the poop for so long.

CLove's picture

Right now its dirt, so no grass. JUST found out its Spring Break this week, so Im definitely going to ask for poop cleanup. Thanks. Yep. His dog - ergo his doody to clean.