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What to do what to do??

cooksarah26's picture

So...BM (who has supervised visitation at family court for the last 5 years) has been texting SS - 15 and SD - 11. Since SS & SD recently got cell phones and are a little new to texting it hasn't been a problem as of yet. SS was feeling under the weather with a cold that we all came down with & had been resting for a couple days already, so I asked my SS & SD to split cleaning the bathroom (make it easier on them to share the chore). I mean the bathroom is not very big at all & I feel like if you aren't dying- then you can manage functioning for a few minutes a day (I'm not a slave driver). SS texts BM that he will be right back he has to clean the bathroom and so BM texts SD and asks her to clean it for her brother he's too sick to do anything and that she "cannot believe that we would do such a thing as to ask him to clean the bathroom when he was sick". I mean seriously! He has a cold! It's not the flu, it's not strep, he wasn't dying, and I have been fully functioning as "Mom" for over 5 years. I need some advice about electronic communication & supervised visitation before I lose my cool, because this is not actually the most recent crazy thing she might have done.
I mean the whole situation is way more complex but....

Why should she get to text them when she has supervised visitations??????


furkidsforme's picture

I would have your DH tell her that if she attempts to interfere in the running of your household again, texting will be cut off and she can go to assigned call times. She needs to BUTT OUT

cooksarah26's picture

Yeah, hopefully she answers the phone. I'll find out more when he gets a hold of her

I just couldn't find any laws saying I could stop her talking to the kids. I don't want to be this insane phone police. But it's my house. I can't let her talk to them everyday. She's bad news.

cooksarah26's picture

Thanks. I can't monitor everything they do & I don't have the energy, but I'm feeling like her sudden interference is detrimental to the well being of my SS & SD. And I'm hoping to get the CO changed soon maybe in next month or so.
#1 - we want to move out of the contingent counties next year
#2 - she hasn't paid CS since last year
#3 - all the while she & her bf were ordered to take drug tests to regain possession it's been five years & she told me and DH that she'll "see them when they're 18". (What a thing to say!!!)

I have one BS & I can't imagine doing that to my BS or my SS & SD. Who does that? P.S. she has 3 other kids with her bf.

So...after I took my SS to the Dr. today. I find texts to BM telling her "Oh,it's just a cold I don't have a fever any more...I have school tomorrow...I wish I didn't have to go"

BM - "Who says you can't? if u still have a fever n cant stand up you arent allowed to go to school.
SS - "I don't have a fever, I just don't have much energy
BM - "Ur dad said you had a fever...either way pretty baby if u feel u need to stay home another day just do it w out telling anyone n ignore them if they find out and tell u anything...itll be ok".

What should I do in the mean time - take the phones away so she can't convince my SS to skip school, (especially when DH & I already told him he needed extra rest)?

SourGrapes's picture

I agree with Anith. Talking to SS about how he feels about the advice his mother is giving him is a good idea. It puts the ball in his court to talk about how he feels about things without feeling like he's in trouble for something.

As for BM, I'm not surprised she doesn't have custody. What she's telling her son to do is terrible. It's not even bad parenting, it's anti-parenting. She sounds like a real piece of work.