It works both ways. You have to do all work? That's BS.

This reminded me of when I got super pissed that for the eleventy hundreth time SD12 outright ignored me when I said hello upon her arrival. I refused to eat dinner with them because I didn't want to be with people who treated me that way. He got really pissed at ME. I finally got through to him that it feels shitty to be treated that way in my own home. He talked to her and told her it makes me feel like she doesn't like me. She said she does like me. But that was the first time he understood that I was being mistreated and couldn't live like that. She never did apologize but things have been slightly better since then.

Garbage! Is he admitting his 11 year old has no manners? YES because in my day, children greeted their elders FIRST not the other way around. She is the classic, arrogant, child that has been taught ZERO manners and that the universe revolves around her.

Here are some classic guilty daddy sayings (sorry they're not exactly in numerical order--see #30):

1."You knew he had kid(s)when you married him
2.You knew what you were getting into
3.Stepparents should be seen and not heard in the parenting arena
4.Stepparents are not REAL parents.
5.You're just dads wife./You're just moms husband
6.You're NOT my MOTHER!!/ You're NOT my FATHER!!
7.Is my check in the mail??
8.I think I will call my attorney
9.He/She is JUST a kid!
10.You don't have children,you don't know what it's like.
"Can't you say anything GOOD about my children?"
"You don't like my children"
#9 and #10 (explained) If you've never had children of your own: "You wouldn't know; you're not a mother"
If you DO have children of your own that you have raised or are raising successfully: "You're not the perfect parent" or the ever popular "My kids are different" or "My case is special"
"They're JUST KIDS!" (when SM points out inappropriate behaviour on young skids part)
"It's too late for them to change now" (when SM points out uncorrected behaviour in childhood of skids that has escalated to felonious teenage behaviour)
"They're late bloomers" (when SM points out to ostrich-dad that his kids are getting all Fs in school)
"I don't want to make waves with the BM because it might affect the children" (when SM duly notes that DH is cowering/caving to the BM and skids)
"Relax, you worry too much" (when SM brings up legitimate serious concerns)
My child comes first
I'm not gonna stop being there for my daughter no matter what you say!!
"Your expectations are too high
I can't control what BM does
They were there first
20. (Said very proudly)"she is my brat"
I don't see my child often enough to teach her manners
'I'm with her for a limited amount of time i can't possibly overturn the sway of her mothers teachings.'
'i let them do what they want because i have no choice'
'i have no power in the situation.i have no control over them.they're not gonna listen to me.'
"Society wont let me discipline because I'm a man"
" Daddy's House."
" Mommy's House."
WTH is MY house then and who was paying the bills here and buying the foods for you to eat, (and your meds too?)
I'm trying to make it up to them for having such a lousy mother"
"How can you blame them for acting out ? Look at what they ahve been through" (divorce, 15 friggin years ago)
#29 "It's harder for a man to be a single parent than a woman"
I want to live close to MY kid..."
They didn't ASK for this!" (referring to the pooooooooor, piiiiiitttiiiiiful children of broken homes; who get TWO xmases, TWO b-day parties/sometimes MORE than two, TWO easters, etc.)
30."You need to TRY harder and make MORE of an effort. . .after all YOU'RE the adult here!"
31. Our marriage will never come first. SD will always be my first priority. I will never love you as much as her"
32. "You don't know what you're doing b/c you've never had a child"
I feel like I'm stuck in the middle".
"He says he does not want them to feel like they can't come to him."

I thought he was supposed to be making amends for his behaviour not giving you hoops to jump through and threats that it won't work if YOU don't change. It won't work unless HE changes the way he handles things, because as the parent he is the lynchpin in the relationships with his children.

I forgot a few classics:

"My kid doesn't like you" or "My kid is AFRAID of you" (same thing as uncomfortable because said skid KNOWS you can see through the manipulation, lies and shenanigans whereas daddykins, who is warring with mommykins to see who can look the other way the most to keep child as BFF, REFUSE to see.

"There are none so blind that refuse to see" and "you can't wake up someone PRETENDING to be asleep."

My response to, "you are the adult be one"? You are the parent! BE ONE!