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Hurting but no tears

Clovergirl's picture

BF (now ex) said he's doing me a favor as he's a package deal. I guess he's right, I am free again but it hurts so bad. Have been sleeping a lot but can't eat. We are still nice to each other, just knowing it is over. I feel like there is a rubber band around my heart that is tighten and tighten by the second. I wish I could cry, but I can't, I can't even squeeze out a single tears. But why? How come it hurts so terrible but no tears?


AlreadyGone's picture

As cliche as this sounds.... time does heal. Give yourself time to grieve this loss but, not too much time. No point in wallowing. Then, get up and pour your heart in to something.... anything. Find a new interest that you can focus on while your heart heals.

As for how you can be hurting so bad but not crying. You probably haven't processed it all yet. I didn't cry at first either. I was hurt and disappointed but, no tears. Of course by the time I finally left, I had already shed enough tears to fill Lake Michigan, lol. Even after being apart for a year, sometimes out of nowhere, I'll see or hear something that triggers me and I'll cry. Heck, once it was the smell of aftershave that he used to wear. As I go, it becomes less and less so I know that I am healing. This will happen for you too. Just give it some time.

Hang in there! Smile

twoviewpoints's picture

I'm sorry you're hurting so, right now. Break-ups are hard, emotional roller coaster riding events. Yes, time heals, but knowing that while it's all still fresh and the heart is breaking can't always be processed between the heart and the head. You have to take it one day at a time, one foot in front of the other. All people grieve in different ways and in different timeframes.

Tears? Not everyone mourns a loss with tears nor at the same time of the passing. In your case it currently could be because your head has known this was coming. Yes sure, your heart is hurting, but your head has had time to prepare and accept this wasn't the best situation for you. You've been already mourning without really realizing it since that evening you walked home from Walmart in the rain. Your head also knew that week ex-SO was away on vacation with the kids , that being away from this relationship and the unhappiness in the household that was there when they all were home was really in the longterm what needed to be. Your heart just hadn't gotten there yet. You deserve more than what this current relationship and ex-SO could offer you, and it's never a good thing to just settle. While your heart loves this man, your head knows you can not be happy in this man's day to day world.

I wish you all the best, Clover, as you begin to heal and venture out to begin anew. Hugs to you.

Clovergirl's picture

Unfortunately no, I don't have anyone otherwise I would already been gone yesterday. Sad