How to share without oversharing with SD13
This topic has come up quite a bit, and there are even memes around it - oversharing adult issues with kiddos.
Not having a bio of my own, I am having a tough time with establishing a place where its TMI.
- I get that there needs to be boundaries with SD13 when DH and I argue. She has maybe once seen us argue about anything, I absolutely NEVER draw her in. However, she will ask questions and quiz me after the fact...do I explain, in an unemotional way my side of things? I dont explain to make her father the enemy at all, just give my feelings on things, which of course are situational.
- We are buying a house together. Should she have knowledge of the finances behind it? She has been asking questions like "why dont we move there" (to town she goes to school in that we all love, and that DH gew up in near the ocean) should I explain the prices of houses in our area (300-450k) comparing them to houses where quite frankly we all want to be but cannot afford right now? (500-650k). Or is this too much? I always try to explain finances so that she will understand things better and aspire to things in a realistic way.
- ok, sex ed. I know its in schools, but no one ever explains pleasure toys. Do you explain that stuff or leave it alone (I leave it alone....but munchkin keeps finding her sisters stuff..ewe.)
- How much we make at garage sales and selling things...I came from a family that keeps all finacials private. SD13 asks how much we make, all the time. I put her off. I am not happy sharing these things with her.
- How much our salaries are. Im not comfortable talking about that either. But I think it might be good to talk about it sometime so she can envision what she can expect as a first time worker, and what she can look forward to after college...
- Bills. I think I should share bills and involve her in what the amounts are. But maybe its too stressful, esp since Toxic Troll is stressing her out about eviction threats.