Why is steplife so full of the same old stuff, just a different year??? Every year, DH waits til the last second to book summer visitation dates with BM and skids. This pisses everyone off:

BM uses it is prove he is a crappy Dad and encourage skids to cut DH out.. She sends a scathing email listing all his failures. DH rants about it and I point out that he left himself WIDE open on that one.

Skids wonder if Dad wants them or not, which is totally fair, and BM capitalizes on this. SD turns up emanating/seething anger and resentment and is itching for a fight or to take it out on BS2. SS is even more creepy and creeper-y than usual. Way to make the visit even Worse for everyone! Last year, skids and BM would only agree to come for half the visitation time because DH left it so late to bring it up.

I prefer to know when they are coming so I can plan for total disengagement and places I can take can BS2 while they are here. Not having a plan used to drive me nuts but now I could care less. Whenever they arrive, I have a plan that can be executed. Paying extra for flight costs due to poor planning does piss me off but luckily for DH the flights go between two major cities and remain pretty affordable year round. Otherwise, there would be an 8 week booking deadline imposed as I do all the budgeting.

I'm not saying a word about the summer visitation plan this year to DH. If he isn't willing to do something different and learn from last year, then he will have to deal with the consequences for his relationship with skids. They may decide they don't want to come if he doesthis again. Honestly, I would be relieved about not havingto deal with weeks of skid toxicity but don't wish pain on skids to achieve it.

WTF DH. Sometimes I think he is actively trying to blow his relationship with skids up. He is a great father to BS, but he just checks out further and further from skids as the years go by, to the point of active sabotage. He will have to grapple with these choices one day.