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Explain the logic ??

Chmmy's picture

We set up a smart tv with cable box and a couple of couches in the basement for the boys, SS10 & SS12, so they can watch porn & other inappropriate things without anyone bothering them since the internet/screen rules & bedtime rules we(me) put into place last year are all have gone out the window.

We do have food rules about food in the kitchen only but SS12 will take a mile for every inch you give him so he is always trying to get permission to break the rules knowing that DH is an idiot and gives in to almost everything. Food has gone in to their play room and the family room since rules only apply to skids if they feel like it.

SS12 asks if he can take chips in to the basement. In my head Im screaming NOOOOO. DH says he can take grapes but no chips...eyeroll. Then SS10 asks about a bagel. DH says no but the final answer was they went down there with a bag of cheeze its. So the new rules are no chips or bagels in the basement but cheeze its and grapes are ok. Can someone please explain the logic to me? Does amyone wonder why the skids cant follow the rules because they are so inconsistent and stupid, I wouldnt follow them either.

Time for stepmonster to make a rule. Take food downstairs you lose your new tv set up. End. Of. Discussion. I posted a sign on the door. They dont follow the rules, i take the cable box and cords. End. Of. Discussion.

Again, i blame the skids because I can't stand their presence but I feel sorry for them. I dont have a skid problem. I have a DH problem (and BM problem).


CompletelyPuzzled's picture

Your DH is very inconsistent. Of course, the SSs are going to push it because they know it works. I hope your plan to enforce the rules doesn't backfire on you.  Your SO really needs to back you on this and I am not sure he will.  Be prepared for the SSs to think of you as the villian.

ITB2012's picture

My DH is consistently inconsistent. And the skids know it. Even if he enforced a rule they know they just need to wait it out a couple days and he will break or forget. And he wants them to be happy (aka like him) so if they want something he gives in. 

Do house rules apply to your DH? Cause they don’t apply to mine. Even something as simple as taking your shoes off when you enter the house. Guess what? All the kids tromp through the house in their shoes when they feel like it because they see DH do it. 

justmakingthebest's picture

"We set up a smart tv with cable box and a couple of couches in the basement for the boys, SS10 & SS12, so they can watch porn & other inappropriate things without anyone bothering them" --- WTF!!!!! Does your DH realize that it is a crime to let kids watch porn??? Is this for real or scarasm? I am just sitting here with my jaw on the floor. 

As for food in the basement, if they don't clean up- even once, NO FOOD EVER in the basement. I am so disgusted by reading this the only advice I really have for you is to leave. I am not one to jump to that, but yeah...there is just no way I could handle what you have going on!

Chmmy's picture

Partly sarcasm. Mostly true. They do, say and watch a lot of inappropriate things. My husband is a fool. If they do one good thing, it negates the hundred bad things they do. SS12 had a lot of porn images (mostly anime but still graphic) sent to him in chat rooms, he never should have been in chat rooms at 10 & 11 years old. He would stay up til 2am on the computer. He had no rules before I lived here. We clamped down on internet usage and bed time and no devices outside public rooms of the house for a while but DH can only follow through for so long.

I am the step monster who put rules in place

tog redux's picture

You are more concerned about food in the basement than 10 year-olds watching porn in your home?

Chmmy's picture

No but I have given up trying to enforce things I can't control. I dont know they watch porn but one might assume they do from past behaviors. Im doing the best i can to disengage. It doesnt mean I dont cringe every day. The rules went out the window because I cant be home 24/7 to enforce. See above response for more detail 

tog redux's picture

In that case, I'd tell DH to clean up after them in the basement as well, and make him do it - rather than tryiing to enforce rules that he will undermine.

DHsfamilyfromhell's picture

you can control their internet use just learn about parental controls. or take their gadgets away. kids watching porn is a crime. This is what can happen when children so young start viewing porn on a regular basis, they start with normal porn then when they get bored of that they will progress to bondage porn or something, or they will actively seek out child porn.  When they are in their twenties they may try and strangle their girlfriend one day during sex because that’s all they might know and they might get arrested for it. - it turns into an addition. It will affect their whole life. You do realise that if they are down they basement together they could be abusing each other. If you can’t learn about parental control hire a tech in, or stop paying for their phones or internet. 

Chmmy's picture

We have parental control for internet. We can block devices from having service. I insisted we get it. I blocked their phones from having wifi and they have no data service. SS12 harassed DH til he turned it on so he can snapchat with friends and he never reblocked. It is no longer my place to care. I spend most of my time out of town staying with my kids or parents since school has been out the last 4 weeks I have spent over half the nights staying elsewhere.

DHsfamilyfromhell's picture

If my husband saw nothing wrong with it I would be making plans to leave

Chmmy's picture

I am beginning my exit plan. It starts with stashing $$$$$.

He pays for everything and I put money in savings.

DHsfamilyfromhell's picture

I think it’s terribly sad your husband won’t support your opinions. My dh can be a bit of a plonker sometimes too. I believe the internet in general should have in opt in process with all these images (porn) rather than an opt out one. Sure people/ kids can still get hold of stuff but it would make it a little bit more difficult. I hope it turns out well for you, glad you are getting out of the house a bit.

Harry's picture

It is a DH problem, Not a SK problem.  He lets them do what they want.  Disengage from it all,  make DH clean the basement tv room ever other day.   DH there chip on the floor of TV room,  we are going to get ant and roaches. You must vacuum the room 

Exjuliemccoy's picture

Chmmy, I applaud you for being strategic about your exit and can't wait to hear you've moved forward. In fact, I just put a bottle of Prosecco in the fridge and I'll pop the cork when you're out.

Bleed that idiot dry honey, and take care of yourself.

Chmmy's picture

Couldn't bleed him more dry than his ex did. He's a little smarter this time around but not much