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I strongly DISLIKE my 10 yr old step son!

Chefwit8's picture

Sad so my step son is the middle child of 5boys, and its very obvious to me that he doesnt like me, (which in some step children cases they rarely like the step parent) HOWEVER after 8yrs u would think by now it would have change, Not!
He is my problem child. I say my bcuz my hubby doesnt
help the situation either, let me explain...
My step son is 10 in the 4th grade, cant read on a 4th gr level, cant write a complete sentence, cant spell, doesnt retain nothin he learns in school & does not speak proper english. With that being said he can rap every song on the radio, aggravates children youngr than him, loves watching anything with violence, cussing, sex murder in it & gets mad when I say he cant watch it....how does he do all of this im sure you're wondering...Daddy lets him. At 1st I was gunghoe with any & all education he needed. I constantly encouraged readng, and extra homework at home, I told him if he cant sing a church song or spell any of the rap music he sings then he cant sing it at all....now if im.the one doing the above mentioned & enforcing punishments & giving out chores, doesnt this automatically make me the Evil wicked witch of the West? ...dad lets him slide on soooo much, dad does NOT encourage reading etc...Dad allows mostly everything I DISAGREE with!! Ugh! Yea of course I should strongly dislike my husband but I have yet to mention all the things my step son does....rolls his eyes at me, sucks teeth when told to do something, ignores me, disregards my presence when im in the room with his dad, just basically acts as if im not here. When dad is,at work & I am here he does acknowledge me then....smh its a shame. Im disgusted im hurt, im pissed, just overall drained emotionally too...i have told my hubby this last yr & the yr before & the yr before that!! It only reveals a temporary change, dad may yell & discipline them for a short time frame, he may see results then slack off. its never consistent. And trust me everything you can possibly think of to remedy this situation,i have done!!!! The only thing I havent done but I will try this yr is counseling. My step sons have given me hell to pay. I understand that emotionally they are so messed up. They both may need to talk to someone. But on the other hand if I dont have that constant, consistent support from my hubby then what? Divorce? Its ironic bcuz he same reason I fell in love with him was bcuz of the way he took care of his kids & he took to my son (from a previous relationship) as if my son was his own! Now im like wth happened to that guy?? Shok .....

Comments

Amazedstepmom's picture

Disengage. I never thought I would have to but when DH doesn't help w the discipline, then they force you to step back and them to be the parent.

gijimenez5's picture

I wouldn't force SS to do anything. If his parents do not want to put forth the effort to raise him correctly and educate him why would you even bother with it. At the end of the day you seem like the bad one to the SS, BM and DH are the good ones, not stressing and taking it easy. Also I am surprised you have not gotten the, "you are like that with him because he is not your son." One time I mentioned to DH that SS11 often gets confused with his letters he reads a d as a b, etc" I told him maybe he should get tested, what was the for? DH said that he was fine and that why would I assume that, that I only see negative things in him. I never mentioned it again and I don't even care, it doesn't affect me, I have to Biological Kids to worry about. I'll continue to let him think his son is perfect.