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Sleeping arrangements??

Chefwit8's picture

Do you still allow your kid/kids to sleep n bed with u & your DH ?? If not how old we're they when they stopped? And what ways did u transition ur child/children from your bed to theirs?? Tips? Advice? Our 4 yr old BD will start out n her bed upstairs but somehow between 3-6 am she finds her way back dwn into our room....as I type this DH has moved to he floor and even invited my SD7 to come lay with him down there. They are all sleep and I'm WIDE AWAKE... Due to insomnia & stress I don't sleep well anyway but this to him is nothing . Think he thinks it's "spending time'"'with my SD7 bcuz she is here visiting until I decide if she stays(whole 'nother story) Sad

Comments

sonja's picture

I feel very strongly that kids dont belong in the parents bed. I think that snuggling time does not belong in the parents bedroom. FDH slept in the bed with SD when we met, and I put up with it for maybe 4mo EOWd before demanding she get her own bed, and then we eventually transitioned her into a different room.

Our BS18mo has only slept with us in the bed 1x on vacation and it was horrible. Ive never had a worse night sleep being constantly worried that he would fall off or be squished.

Yes we often have tickle fights or Ill take BS to FDH to say good morning when hes still laying down, but he doesnt belong in our bed. The same with SD, I obviously feel differently on her because shes not mine and I dont think its appropriate for her to even be in our room.

There was punishment if she tried to come in our room (as shed come in and lay on the floor) or bed if she sneaked in during the night. This especially pissed me off because shed do it after I left for work. FDH finally layed down the law and she stopped doing it.

janeyc's picture

The first night I stayed with Sd there, she crept into our bed, I was kicked out, Bf was asleep, she did try again but thankfully Bf said no, I would'nt share a bed with Sd, kids belong in their own beds, once Sd was quite poorly with stomach ache, Bf slept in Sd's bed and she came in with me, she was in a lot of pain, it was only wind but she was scared, apart from that she stays in her bed, Sd6 comes in for a cuddle in the morning, after I've told her its time to get up, she used to wake us up , up to 5 times before 6am, now she knows she has to stay in bed, she sleeps much better. It is time to take your bed back, how can you function properly if you don't get a good nights sleep?

Rags's picture

No we don't allow SS to sleep with us. But a 20yo sleeping in bed with us would just be creepy no matter if he was our kid or not.

He used to climb in bed with us in the AMs on weekends and we would have family snuggle time until he was ~5yo then it started to decline and ended pretty much by the time he was 6-7yo. After 5yo it was only an occassional thing. Even when he was young it was rarely before 7M that he would climb in bed with us.

4yo I can understand a morning mom and dad snuggle fest but I for sure would not allow it before dawn. Start modifying this behavior now.

IMHO of course.

Best regards,

not_the_momma's picture

Dh and I don't want them in bed with us. However, the }:) youngest (9) hasn't slept in her bed at BMs for almost a year now. Its created a newer issue with us, as she has tried to crawl into bed with us several times over the past year, a few times when I was the only adult home (dh works overnights every three months).

Id prefer for this not to happen, but having to battle with BM over it, idk if its worth it.

IAmALady77's picture

I don't believe in sleep-sharing at all. I was annoyed when SO would let SD-then 1-ish come into our bed because he didn't want to fight with her at bed time but I never really did anything about it until I came here and read other stories along the same lines lol.

I put a stop to that. She has her "big girl" bed now at 2 and a half. It was a battle the first couple of nights but you have to stick with it. (google the super nanny episode about sleep sharing to get some tips lol) Be prepared to not sleep while you're fighting this out. Especially if shes used to sleeping with you. When she comes in your room, tell her calmly that it is bed time and she needs to go back to her bed, then put her in bed. If she does it again, firmly tell her it is bed time and put her back in her bed. Any time after that, don't say anything at all and just keep putting her back in her bed. Or if all else fails just hand her a 10 dollars bill and let her ride her unicorn for a little while }:)

realitycheckmom's picture

I co-slept with my DD since I nursed. It was easier, breaking her not as easy. What I tried was letting her fall asleep with me and putting her in her bed after she fell asleep. Then I tried her sitting in my lap on the couch till she fell asleep and then put her in her bed. We would just put her back in bed if she woke up in the middle of the night and we eventually got to the point after her bath and teeth brushing she would go lay in her bed and after her bedtime story she would stay there till she fell asleep.

Can I do this's picture

SDs would nap with us sometimes when I first started dating SO. They were 8 & 9 then .... they didn't do it all that often, but never overnights! I remember when I moved in they complained b/c they never got sleep in Daddy's bed overnight. Now they are 12 & 13 and they don't nap with us ... I think it stopped within the first year of our relationship. I think if I have my own it's fine for naps or maybe just cuddle time in the mornings, but not overnight.

RainbowsAndDaisies's picture

SS8 will come down if there is a bad thunderstorm or if he has a bad dream. Otherwise, he sleeps the night in his own bed. When he was very little, he would start the night in his bed and migrate to ours almost every night. Every time that he did this we would immediately put him back to bed in his own bed - we would pick him up, not say anything, and tuck him back in; no rewarding attention. He eventually stopped.

oneoffour's picture

My kids had their own beds. I think ex and I allowed one of the 4 kids to sleep with us about 3x total due to illness. Then one of us would go and sleep in that childs bed.

I believe children need their own beds unless there is a financial issue or you are on vacation or dishoused due to a weather emergency.