Step-life Update & Woes of Pregnancy
Since SS left in early July, things have been calm in terms of steplife. I dont attend pick-ups/drop-offs because I don't care to interact with BM and prefer to be a mystery to her. I have had no contact with BM in over 2 years. But, BM picks SS up from our apartment clubhouse, which I can see clear as day from our living room window, so I always watch to see the exchange unfold. While saying goodbye, SS ran up to DH and gave him the biggest bear hug for a solid 2 minutes as BM watched awkwardly. I'm talking, jumped up, front piggy back style, super tight squeeze hug. After DH started walking back to our apartment, BM tried to hug SS and he dodged, only giving her a brief side hug, then running away. BM appeared pissed and stomped to the car, leaving SS and his bag in the yard for GF to handle. Clearly not the actions of a kid being so terribly abused by DH. We haven't heard a peep from BM - no more allegations, nothing.
DH has facetimed SS several times since he left and SS has been telling DH how he can't wait for school to start so football practices are only 3 days per week instead of 4. You can tell he is over it. He looks worn out. Yet, according to BM, SS lives and breathes football per his choice... yeah right. This week, SS was facetiming DH before football practice and he was eating a snack, a single jumbo goldfish biscuit that tastes like a graham cracker. SS told DH that BM/GF only gave him a corn dog before practice and he was still hungry. Well GF comes running up to SS, smacking the goldfish cookie out of his hand. GF starts yelling at SS, telling him that he knows the difference between a snack and dessert and that his choice in snack was unacceptable. SS fought back that BM/GF stock his snack drawer in the pantry, so if they don't want him having it, they shouldn't put it in there, since anything in the snack drawer is fair game (parent approved) for SS to have. BM just stood there, watching GF handle the parenting. SS looked irritated and worn out by BM and GF. DH and I were kind of shocked, especially to witness this all unfold on Facetime.
In other news, I have had constant morning sickness for the past 4-5 weeks. It limits my ability to do just about anything. I practically vomit just from standing up. I thankfully don't have HG, but this is still rough. I have tried everything from Unisom and vitamin B6, to ginger chews, to pregnancy suckers and popsicles. I can tell that DH is feeling the stress because he likes to keep a clean house and since I am limited in my capacity, he feels like it is his job to fix everything. Mind you,, we keep a pretty tidy house in general, so by cleaning, he means literally wiping down surfaces, mopping, vacuuming, and cleaning bathrooms. We had a long conversation last night that everything does not have to be perfect and that he needs to take time for self-care. DH said he is stressed about things being ready for the baby, which isn't coming for another 6 months.
I think DH feels unprepared because BM kept DH out of her pregnancy 100%, only notifying DH that she was pregnant and notifying him the day after SS' birth. DH has no idea how pregnancy, birth, and raising a newborn full-time go. DH has been nothing but doting and wonderful, but I can see he is burning out. I bought him the father's version of "What to Expect When Your Expecting", but he is still freaking out. It's like he can't research or do enough to make him feel secure in this. He has a self-proclaimed to-do list a mile long and not a single item is urgent (deep clean the house, laundry, doing minor repairs to the car, reorganizing all closets/storage spaces, cleaning out the garage), but he keeps putting pressure on himself. Nothing I can say or do makes him feel better. I think his stress has caused him to become a little distant and I just want him to relax and be present in this experience with me.