DH is on his way to pick up SS10 as I type this. He is not looking forward to the 8 hour roundtrip drive. SS is visiting for his second half of Christmas break so he will be here for a week. 

DH, DD10months, and I had a great Christmas. It was nice celebrating DD's first Christmas. DH called SS10 last night to wish him a Merry Christmas. SS told us that BM bought him a very violent video game that is rated "M" for Mature, one that DH refused to buy him last year. Ironic since BM scolded DH a few years ago for letting SS play a Lego building video game since it was too "scary." SS also informed us that BM gave him an iPod touch or a disabled iphone; while it doesn't have a data plan, it can still text and call over wifi. I told DH that if SS brings it with him, it is being turned off and kept away until he leaves.

We don't need SS having unlimited access to BM and GF while he is here. BM limits SS' contact with DH by gatekeeping - repeatedly deleting DH's contact info out of SS' Skype, not giving SS DH's phone number when SS asks, only allowing SS to call during scheduled calls via her phone, etc. If BM wants to gatekeep, then she can't expect to have unlimited access to SS while he is here. Also, BM is notorious for trying to set rules for our household, expecting SS to follow them since she communicates them to SS before pick up, so that is also a concern. We don't need SS texting BM or GF, seeking permission for everything we are doing. DH has had the conversation with SS that BM and GF are allowed to make rules for their house and we are allowed to make rules for our house, but both parents can't make rules for the other parents' house. Unfortunately, SS only accepts part of that message, that DH can't make rules for BM's house. It's hard when SS doesn't view DH as an authority figure or parent, even in our own home. I know eventually SS will have a cell phone and we will have to cross that bridge when it comes. 

BM texted DH this morning to let him know that her and GF have wedding dress shopping appointments today so a family member will be watching SS when DH arrives to pick him up. DH thought it was funny that BM mentioned the wedding dress shopping. BM can't bother giving us information as it pertains to SS, but this is the third time she has dropped information about her wedding planning in the past few months. This frequent oversharing leads DH to believe that she wants to make DH jealous, which is funny since they were never married, dated briefly in high school, broke up at 19, and have been separated for almost 12 years. DH and I have been together for 10 years and married for almost 4, so these sad attempts are just that - SAD. 

I will keep you all posted on our visit. Fingers crossed it goes well with minimal drama from BM or SS.