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When SS is used as a weapon to destroy my family

Caroline2b1211's picture

It has been few weeks since SS9 made his big drama, manipulated by ILs.

MIL and SIL are incredibly jealous of the family we built SO and I. This jealousy exploded when my son was born, few months ago. 


We cut every links, so they use the last weapon : poor SS. 

I used to have a good relationship with him. I used to share time and sweetness. We were confident about our family balance before my son birth.

However, i’m now convinced we will live a difficult life anytimes SS is here as he will always act as a spy for his grand mother. Cut links between them is impossible (BM let SS goes there during her time)

Even BM recognises it : « they use him to hurt you » . But she enjoys the situation and doesn't seems (want?) to realise how dangerous it is for him. 

SO asked for a psychologist interview for SS, BM agreed but is not very proactive. The appointment is not set yet, and we wait, wait, wait.... 


I’m so disappointed of the situation


simifan's picture

Why is your SO waiting for BM to make the appointment? What is stopping him from doing it himself? 

Caroline2b1211's picture

We live 200km from BM, SO is ok to take the appointment but BM doesn't share her agenda so he doesn't know her availability. 
He contacted two therapists in our town, but they told him appointments must be regular (we have him every holidays but not on WE). 
Last "option" would be to find a therapist available on saturday, that will imply SO to drive every week-end 400km.. but it could be the "last option" as the kid really needs therapy  

Winterglow's picture

" he will always act as a spy for his grand mother"

Do you realize how much fun you could have with this? Leave things lying around for him to find and tell granny about - luxury holiday brochures, information on space tourism, car magazines, documents on luxury cruises... Find her weak point and use it until the old bat implodes. 

1dad4kids's picture

This does seem fun, but still not fair to the kid. 

The best thing OP can do is keep living life how they want and not give a f*CK what granny thinks. Honestly, so what if granny finds out you didn't let SS9 have ice cream for breakfast (or whatever). As long as you're not doing anything in appropriate then carry on your merry way. 

Winterglow's picture

True, but no matter what she does or doesn't do, the old dear is going to grill SS for information. He's going to suffer no matter what. 

Caroline2b1211's picture


How hilarious the situation could be XD

However, MIL is definitively soooo jealous, i'm afraid of her behaviour. As an example, she told So during their last (and I hope least) call "i know you are happy, you go to work to save money, while i harldy work to eat and i have nothing left !!" 

PS : MIL is a "failure", she failed everything including her career. She had a qualified job and now she turned to be a cleaning lady with little contract (one hour here, two hour there...) Her financial situation is a disaster (so her family situation as she failed to be a daughter, a mother and a wife too)This woman litteraly personifies the word "failure" and she is completely crazy. 

Caroline2b1211's picture

I came to the fact that, no matter what i will do, SS is soooo alienated he will lie and tell the contrary.. 

For now, my plan is to live exactly the family life i want, and deal with SS issues as things progresses. 
My worst fear is to be accused of bad treatment by him. MIL will do her possible to destroy us, i'm sure she will be ready to go to the police with SS. 

She had already done that with her niece, and that led the stepfather directly to 10 years of prison... Even if she knew that was a lie. 
MIL's sister lost her legal parental authority and she disappeared with her second daughter (The stepfather's daughter), waited 10 years and now they cut all the links...

And everything started with MIL and GMIL being jealous of the new baby the sister had with the stepfather