So last night SO got a text from BM asking him to find SD17 a job up here for the summer. That she will need to work. Which we agree with. 100%. BUT last SO knew SD17 was refusing to work on things with me and staying in MY home so therefore she wasn't coming to stay with us. So my SO nicely texted BM back and said I have spoke to SD17 regarding the summer she isn't willing to sit down and work on things to stay here at our house. She will NOT come here and behave the way she has been for the last year and a half. We have 4 other kids in the house and Carrie. If she can't control her BS then she can't stay here. He told BM that he has talked to SD17 several times regarding this issue and her answer is always no she isn't going to work on things. She will not be around us because of her jealousy issues concerning her father and I. BM texted back this LONG winded text about how now SO has a new life.... and no room for SD17. And so it's ok for him to make that choice and leave his daughter our of his NEW life. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? SHE has made the choice NOT us. SO kindly texted her back and said well you left and began your new life and SD17 had to deal with that AND get over it. Why is this so different for me? Am I not allowed to have happiness because SD17 doesn't approve of it? NO this is not going to work for us. She either has to figure out how to deal with it or she can't stay. OMG THEN BM says that he should move into his own place because he is choosing ME over his daughter. WTF? Really? THEN she states that it isn't just her that produced an angry teenage daughter and he played part in it too. Then she revisited the past in a few texts. THEN followed that with well if you can't get her a job then she will have to stay with me and I will deal with OUR very angry daughter by myself clear over here. UM she moved 6 hours away and DIDN'T have to. That was totally her choice to move away from all her family and him. So her being all by herself is her own doing.
So after he stuck up for us and himself and our boys she texted back (after sending him multiple texts of name blame regarding SD17 bullshit attitude) saying this was a conversation he needed to have with HIS daughter and not her. UM EXCUSE ME???? He has tried several times and that's what he told her in his very first reply to her demands of SD17 IS coming this summer get her a job.
The topper of this is BM wants us to find SD17 a job in a town that is 45 miles from us.... I would like to know how they expect us to get SD17 to this "job"?????????? Because UNLIKE her we have JOBS! SD17 refuses to get her license because well her daddy will take her to and from (she thinks).
I told SO last night that if indeed she is coming then the conversation that needs to happen HAS to involve me. ALL three of us. Not just him and her. AS I am the one most affected by her crap. AND if she comes and there is no change from the last time he will have to go live at his parents.

So ladies any ideas on what I need to say IF I get the chance to be involved in the meeting with SD17 regarding her coming to stay for the ENTIRE summer?