OT feeling deflated, used, stressed and like I am hauling the load
both me and my so were made redundant, he has been out of work since Jan and I am due to end my job in June but have already got a new job so will be kissing my redundancy goodbye. different story but related as it would have been about 6K we desparately needed.
anyway i have had a migraine for the last 3 days, i know that i am irritable but i am getting to the end my tether with SO.
He has been jobhunting, not as much as he can but hes been on a few interviews.
other than that he has been at home, half assing the housework and letting things pile up.
I am getting to the point where i am carrying the brunt of things financially (even paid his CS last month) and feel so undervalued and underappreciated for it. he sits around for half the day doing eff all on the internet, where i have a back garden filling up with dog sh* he doesnt clean up, laundry he doenst do, we have lots of diy that could be done and he doesnt do anything unless asked.
Is it normal? I feel like I am living with a 15 year old on summer holidays, not a 36 year old father of 3!
I ahve to remind him to do things constantly and i dont know if i can take this much longer.
this blog isnt in depth, or even brushing on my feelings or the actual details of how i feel and what he isnt doing but i a feeling sick with all the stress..THEN having to be let down each night when i get in as he hasnt done something i asked him to do. i honestly feel like he is living half ass at 50% and i am putting 150% into everything at the minute.
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(((((( hugs )))))) I leave
(((((( hugs ))))))
I leave DETAILED “hunny do” list for my DH if he happens to need it. A lot of people will get away with as little as possible if they can.
For instance…instead of asking him to please do the dishes….I will write down…take clean dishes out of dishwasher and put away. Rinse off dirty dishes and put in dishwasher. Start dishwasher if needed.
Guys are bad about needing instructions. DH would not do A THING around the house if I did not ask. Nor would my EX, nor my father, nor most any other man I know. They could live in filth and not care one iota. Good luck, it sounds like you need a massage!!!
PS…don’t’ pay his CS again. Tell him you are sorry, but it is not in the budget. He will HAVE to get a job pretty soon then I hope.
Ya thats the plan really. Hes
Ya thats the plan really. Hes been looking for ages but the job market is shocking in the UK at the minute and we are just too far away from september to stretch for him to go back to sschool and get student aid to help the house float.
its seriously just too much.
my mom died last year and in between all the court appearances for visitation and the divorce mess i have barely had time to grieve as well. If i got paid sick leave I would have been off on stress leave long ago.
I hear you about the lists it just irriates me i have to leave a list to do ANYTHING. like call the effin bank, call your lawyer..he should know to do these things.
I agree with Willow 2010 -
I agree with Willow 2010 - men need to be TOLD what you would like them to do and lists are quite a good idea. Us women often expect our men to 'read our thoughts' and to think as we think, but they don't. They will 'see' what needs to be done but not SEE it (if you know what I mean).
Your hubby is probably depressed about being made redundant and has no inclination to keep himself moving...that's tough.
I know how you feel with the migraines, I am a migraine sufferer also and it sucks to have a migraine and still have to keep the home fires burning and go out to work. You poor girl.
My thoughts and prayers are with you. Hope things get better.
(((HUGS)))
Don't want to steal your
Don't want to steal your blog, but I am feeling the same way. FDH has been out of work for two years now. He went back to school two months after he was laid off, had all last summer off, and now that he has finished school, has been looking for work for three months. He made a total of $11,000 on EI last year. He is on EI currently, but that runs out next week. He's had three whole interviews since finishing school.
I too had to ask him to start helping around the house, as I was tired of doing it all too. He has really pitched in, so I have no complaints there.
What gets me, and maybe I'm being irrational here, but I hate, hate, hate it when he goes out and does anything "fun" while I'm stuck at work.
This week, his kids are off for March break, and they got to our house yesterday to spend the second half. Today, I get a call from him, telling me that his Grandma invited them over for lunch, and do I mind. Not once in the time I've known him have "I" ever been invited over to his grandma's for anything. She only asks if he's home during the day. I mentioned it before, and asked if he could make it on a weekend when I'm home and can go, but of course that never happens. So, I told, him, basically, "Do what you want". He knows I'm very upset right now. If he was working like he should be, he wouldn't be able to go either, so it just seems unfair that I'm missing out yet again.
Sorry for the rant/vent. I'm now in a super bad mood, cause I'm stuck here at work, and they're off to Grandma's. I guess I'm just resentful of him having all this free time. We've only been together since June 2008, and he's been out of work since March 2009.
I hate that in the summer.
I hate that in the summer. I'm at work and they - so and skids- go off and do the fun stuff.