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O/T But I am so mad my DH is planning and going to his friends bachelor party

briarmommy's picture

Submitted by briarmommy on Fri, 09/02/2011 - 3:20pm

I know that he is the best man and that part of his job is the bachelor party but it really bothers me that he is going. He is acting like I am crazy to find him going out with a bunch of single guys to drink and ogle women on poles upsetting. I trust my husband, I do, but because of my upbringing and past trust is hard for me and I find him going out like this really upsets me more then I thought it would. All the other men going are single and he is the only one that isn't so I know its not going to be held back at all because those single guys don't have anything holding them back and since he is the best man he will just go along. I have told him how I feel and thats all I can do I know but I just can't get over it.

To make it even worse he waited till the week before the wedding because he forgot and this is a SS weekend so he is going to go out and carouse with his buddies while I watch HIS kid, I don't mind watching our kid together but I feel really put out to be this upset about something and then to rub salt in the wound watch his kid all night. Plus he will get home late so I probably be watching the kid all day to while he sleeps.

UGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

Comments

briarmommy's picture

Submitted by briarmommy on Fri, 09/02/2011 - 4:05pm

I appriciate your point of view and I really wish I could feel like that, I'm a pretty liberal person and am all about the freedom, I just don't feel the same way about DH. I don't know I just feel like he is the one person I trust besides my grandfather and I don't want him any situation where I wonder about it, I know he won't do anything but that doesn't stop the wheels in my head from turning.

stepintexas's picture

Submitted by stepintexas on Fri, 09/02/2011 - 4:11pm

I understand. I trust my DH immensely, but I dislike the idea of either one of us putting ourselves in a position where our behavior can be called into question. I don't give a rats butt about seeing a male stripper at a club, and he doesn't either. It is just that weird feeling of knowing that a situation could be pushed a little far.

stepfamilyfriend's picture

Submitted by stepfamilyfriend on Fri, 09/02/2011 - 3:49pm

I don't blame you for being upset. The combination of him going and you watching the kids makes it even worse. I don't like the idea of bachelor parties at all (nor bachelorette) and the dancers and the poles...yuck. Sorry you are going through this.

briarmommy's picture

Submitted by briarmommy on Fri, 09/02/2011 - 4:01pm

Thank you I have already decided that after being in a nasty strip club he is not allowed on my clean sheets, boy is going to be on the couch and SS can just wake him up whenever he feels like it.

WickedStepMom18's picture

Submitted by WickedStepMom18 on Fri, 09/02/2011 - 3:55pm

I am pretty insecure and I would be feeling the way you are right now. So - I am preaching but I am not even sure I could take my own advice! Trust your DH. He loves you and this is just one night. It will be over before you know it. See if you can have a friend of yours come over that night. The two of you can take care of the kids - and when they are in bed - break open a bottle of wine and watch a chick flick! You have to plan something that will actually make you look forward to the night - rather than focusing on the bachelor party. If you plan something really fun (obviously at your house!), get really excited about it, keep revving yourself up about it, pretty soon DH is going to think he's missing something by going out! Ha, ha. And the next day - make sure SS wakes him up bright and early. He had his fun the night before... he doesn't get to sleep it off!! Ha, ha. Smile

briarmommy's picture

Submitted by briarmommy on Fri, 09/02/2011 - 4:02pm

Thank you, I think I am going to ask my best friend to spend the night. Once the kids are asleep we can have some smirnoff ice and watch movies where Colin Firth takes of his shirt. And as I told the above poster his nasty stripper watching but is sleeping on the couch that night so SS can wake him up whenever he wants.

CalgonTakeMeAway's picture

Submitted by CalgonTakeMeAway on Fri, 09/02/2011 - 8:18pm

I love this! I hope if you're ever in the same situation you can take your own advice cuz it's excellent! Especially the part about SS waking him up bright and early! LOL

I agree with this post. You let him know you're upset, but I wouldn't nag about it. If you say you trust him, you have to do it. If you're cool about it, he'll be bragging about what an awesome wife he has. Face it, if he's a cheater, he will find an opportunity to cheat any time, not just at a bachelor party. If he's not, you have nothing to worry about! Give him a reason to want to come home early!

herewegoagain's picture

Submitted by herewegoagain on Fri, 09/02/2011 - 7:35pm

No problem on the bachelor party at all. He won't do anything that he can't do any other day. Now, there is now way I would watch his kid for him to go anywhere. That's a different issue.

stepfamilyfriend's picture

Submitted by stepfamilyfriend on Fri, 09/02/2011 - 9:43pm

It isn't really about doing something at the bachelor party or not. It's the whole idea of going with a bunch of guys to celebrate how things are before marriage and doing it at a strip club to boot. My Dh hasn't been interested in any of that since he was in his early twenties. I know it is just my opinion and I do think it's fine if people want to do that, but to me it's gross.
But yes, watching the kids on top of it makes it even worse.