The only other child I knew who liked to climb on top of the refrigerator, was labeled autistic. How disturbing. The child would knock everything off the countertop and off the top of the refrigerator to climb up onto the top of the refrigerator. I am sorry you are having to deal with this. You will be in my thoughts.

My SS7 is the same way.
He's doing the therapy and Adderol thing too and has been been doing relatively well at home and at school.Weve still had some instances of stealing and being a bit defiant but hes not setting things on fire anymore so thats a plus.
All of a sudden on Monday we find out he was throwing chairs in class because something set him off.When he got home and was sent to his room,he punched his window out.
Yesterday at school he kicked a kid in the head.Then he came home and dug his nails into SS16's wrists because she reminded him he was grounded.

So Im as confused as you.With kids like this you could tie them to a tree and beat them with a piano and it wouldnt make a damn bit of difference.
Ive been thinking about getting some books on ADHD at the library.Have you tried that?

Honestly tho,and Im sure this will probably piss someone off,I think the ADHD thing is a load of crap and just an excuse for shitty behavior.My BF gets so upset and doesnt know what to do but always says "he cant help it".I dont think I believe that.
If I find proof to the contrary I will apoligize.

Borrowedtime, I feel for you. What does the therapist say? Any mention of OCD? No reaction to discipline-that is scary, I know. My ex had a nephew like this. He did not care-there were no consequences for him because nothing seemed to affect him. I do not know what happened, but he is fine now! That kid was one of the oddest kids I have ever met. Just weird behaviors and he would say odd things. He spent time in a pediatric psych ward. His parents made excuses for his behavior, but after he physically attacked his mom, things changed. They were VERY vague about what they did, what the doctors said, but he is in high school now and doing well. At one point, his mother said his birth was very bad, the cord had been wrapped around his neck and he was without oxygen for a long time. She also had to put him on a strict diet. But she never would go into details. I think she was embarrassed. Her older child was an angel.

Peaches, that does not sound like ADHD to me. That sounds like ODD. There is also Conduct Disorder, which is more along the lines of the fire-setting. But, a doctor needs to decide and then you wind up with the doctors sometimes not knowing. I know how frustrating it is. And even if you have a label, what are you supposed to do?

I wrote a huge paper in grad school about disorders like ADHD, ODD, etc. ALL of the research mentioned in one way or another that a lot of these disorders are misunderstood, misdiagnosed, and over-diagnosed. There have been so many studies, yet there is STILL not enough research, in my humble opinion. I think it is too easy to slap a label on a kid, give him meds, and be done. Or to not dig deep enough and find out what is REALLY going on.

I do believe ADHD exists, however, I firmly believe that too many kids are diagnosed with it, and then too often, it becomes an excuse. Or a reason for a kid not to get the help he needs, bc he has something else wrong, and has been "labeled" incorrectly.

Having just spent the last 3 years working with kids with all kinds of issues, I can say that I met a few who I believe are just not nice. It is not even that they are really nasty, they are just not pleasant. It took me almost a year to get one of them to even talk with me, before that he did not care and was either borderline rude or just indifferent. That is such a simple way of saying things, but it is true, I think. They do not have ADHD or anything else, they are just not people you really want to be around. Maybe they just need to find a niche. In any case, I would NEVER give up on them, it is just hard to find a way to connect. This was just a handful of kids, though. The rest-they definitely had issues, but again, I think many were misdiagnosed or just had so much going on at home, that there was really no way to tell what the real deal was. NOT that all have bad home lives, but the vast majority of them had extreme stress at home. I would cry some nights at some of the stories.

This is my passion. Having lost my job, I am devastated, but I am praying I get to work with kids again. I feel like I made a difference. Some of the parents really needed some guidance. I counseled them as often as I counseled the kids. They did not know what to do, and many were at their wits end.

I am no expert, but I think that the dyes and preservatives in foods are a problem. Environment/bad parenting/parents with too much stress, and genetics-major problem. Dtzy is right...medications can be a problem, but they ARE needed-the key is the right kind and dosage. And the right doctor.