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SO gets a taste of SS attitude

bluehighlighter's picture

Submitted by bluehighlighter on Thu, 04/03/2014 - 10:43am

Welp I went to mini golf with SS8 and SO yesterday. As expected it took until after 8pm when we started at 5:45 pm leaving the house. So no way that we would've been done and back at the house on Thursday for our couples night. HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

SS8 was doing ok for the first few minutes there. Then he got an attitude and started walking off. We played with SS going first, then me, then SO. We told him quite a few times nicely that he needed to wait on us to move to the next hole. We explained that he needed to pay attention when other people were playing after probably 5 or so times of telling him nicely, he walked off where we couldn't see him and I took a page from the child psychologist and said "heyyyyy, we have told you more than a few times now that you need to stay with the group, get back over here" SO then added calmly. "stay with the group and you are not playing the next hole, you'll now be after me."

SS says "tell me when it's my turn" SO:"no i will not, you're going to pay attention" SS ended up accidentally hitting his ball down a ramp where it couldn't be reached to continue playing.
SO was pissed. He told SS when we got inside "i'm extremely disappointed in you" made him "get in the car!" SO then calmed himself down and I said "we don't need to let this ruin the rest of the night, lets model for him healthy communication and not yell"

"ss get out of the car"
SO starts speaking to him about this is supposed to be a family activity and he made a fun event a sad and stressful event. He asked him if he wanted to play all games by himself from now on? For the rest of his life just play everything alone? If not he better get with the program.
I took the child psychologist advice and explained the following
"SS we are a team, the three of us, and when one team member decides to leave then our family activities aren't gonna go as planned. Do you like when people cheer you on and have fun watching you putt? Well we do also, b/c that's the point of the outting, to have fun together as a family and participate together. What are we going to do differently to enjoy the rest of our night as a family?"
He looked like he was thinking for quite a while ... gave him some time and then I said "ok well what I want to see for the rest of the night is that the three of us participate together and have a good attitude. The rest of the night can be fun so let's make that happen." Then we did a team huddle with hands in the middle and all and a "go team" and went to dinner.
He behaved himself the rest of the night except for everything I touched SO he had to say "Dad, Dad... (random shit here)"

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA And COUPLES night is tonight. dun dun dun DAHHHHHH

coffee has kicked in. Glad SO got a taste of what I've been dealing with with SS - B/c i was totally relaxed and he was the one pissed at the kid this time. HA

Comments

Disneyfan's picture

Submitted by Disneyfan on Thu, 04/03/2014 - 11:01am

Are you two staying together or breaking up? That whole team thing is a bit much is a break up is in the near future.

bluehighlighter's picture

Submitted by bluehighlighter on Thu, 04/03/2014 - 1:56pm

Thanks ripley. We did, we are going to try to make it on Thursdays but when we can't we will have it
still once a week on another day. Next week it's going to be Wednesday since we have a neighborhood meeting/vote and a kids' art exhibit that Thursday. That if something conflicts with Thursday we figure out which day of the week we will do datenight for the week and stick with it as things come up.

He texted me this morning after I left for work "looking forward to date night tonight. House of Card finale!"

We have counseling tomorrow and then Tuesday I think all 3 of us go to SS's child psychologist appointment. We had discussed before that this kind of bitchy family that SO is always doing activities with has hurt the forcing and growing of a family model so we are gonna work on that too, the 3 of us as a family/team etc. I also have to figure out a time to do something with SS once every other week just the two of us as suggested by the psychologist. SS and I got along just fine at dinner last night and he really likes cooking a lot so he can help me make some treats for his grandparents, that's the plan anyway.

At some point last year I had gotten us all t-shirts from American apparell with our intials on them, super soft kinda cool and we look like a group when we go camping etc. SS wears his all the time and had put it on to go to putt putt. The kid does like us as a group but it's just an adjustment as he's not the center of attention 24/7 he likes attention from me and attention from dad but doesn't like anyone else to get any. Sad ugh so we are working on that. Glad he had a much better attitude and we did our dinner thing of everyone goes around and says something they are thankful for. SS said he was thankful for going to mini golf and sorry he had a bad attitude. Smile

bluehighlighter's picture

Submitted by bluehighlighter on Thu, 04/03/2014 - 3:43pm

thanks Smile

bluehighlighter's picture

Submitted by bluehighlighter on Fri, 04/04/2014 - 9:56am

at home date night went well last night. SO was super worried about making it on time so he had SS eat something good but quick so that he'd make the time of 7pm. SS was really quite good and went to read and SO b/c he's been reading so well had gotten him some new books. SO made the time of 7pm! yay for once!!!! hahahah We had a beer and went over our calendars for the next few months. He made sure we had date nights planned coming up through out the next few months. Smile and has a plan for my birthday in July to visit some friends out of town without SS. SS would usually try to go with him mom some around that time but since she's leaving again and not coming back until "around winter" she said, we have some plans to have his grandma take him to the beach or hang out with Grandpa. I'm looking forward to some concerts and events we have planned. I told him once we have more family outtings that go really well, we'll still have to have date nights but the family time will be more enjoyable so many not have to have as many. SS was super sweet to me this morning. Usually I tell him to "have a great day" and he just says "yeah" today he beat me to it. I was so happy that he did and he could tell and looked quite pleased with himself. Smile SO told me last night that he really doesn't sleep well when I'm not there with him. He didn't realize how great he slept with me beside him. Anyway things are looking a lil more positive. Excited about that.