No it is not wrong, but I think like myself, you may be blaming all of this on the step daughters. When I came to realise the real culprit was my husband because he sat back and allowed the rudeness, the ignorance showed towards me by his daughter, like saying hello/goodbye to him and during the entire visit pretending I wasnt' there. A good example of how he encouraged her to treat me as though I did not exist was, whenever I asked her if she would like a drink, tea/coffee whatever, she would ignore me, I would feeling embarrassed, then ask her boyfriend (she never came here without back up), and then I would ask her father, I would from sheer manners, then ask her again, she of course would ignore me again, instead of my husband saying, hey Natalie, you were being spoken to, he would ask her if she would like something to drink, she would immediately answer HIM, then HE would repeat her answer to me.

Now after 8 years of this crap, and what I have described above is nothing, nothing at all, I told my husband after another eventful episode, that was it, no more. I no longer allow her in my home, I have nothing to do with her, and in fact her name is not spoken in this house anymore.

Once you realise that your partner is responsible for this, you will realise you do have some control here. He should show you enough respect not to allow his children to be rude to you, and it is not your place to work on a relationship with them, it is his place to teach his children right from wrong, so you can all work on a relationship together. However, like most of us here, your partner, has dumped this right in your lap. He does not see it as his darling daughters being at fault, he would never in his wildest dreams imagine it had anything to do with him, in fact poor dear, will actually see himself as the victim in this, the meat in the sandwich.

They are his children, he brought them up this way, he allows them to be rude to you, and he expects YOU to work on your relationship with them. First things first, he needs to teach them common courtesy.

This is not your fault, but stay in the relationship long enough, and you will be totally convinced it is all the SD's fault. Put the blame where it belongs on your partner. His children can treat you anyway they like, they did not choose you, he did, they don't have to like you, but they damn well had better respect you as his wife/SO and it is his place to tell them that.

I was the bigger person for years. Doesn't work if they're father does nothing about it.

Relationships are a two way street. If they aren't respectful to us as SMs and if biodad doesn't enforce that respect than it's a loss cause to try and forge any sort of bond.

And I say this no matter WHAT age the skids are.