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im getting to where i can not stand my stepson

biomomof1's picture

Submitted by biomomof1 on Thu, 02/26/2015 - 11:59am

ok so i have had my SS for 5 years and a couple months now he will b 6 in less than 1 week... is there anyone else that can not stand their Step kids... i get that BM is always going to talk bad about me i get it and over that... but now its getting to were he is acting out towards mine and DH kid (he is 2) .... and DH always lets it go is there anyone else that goes thru this... i need advise to know what it is that i need to do in this situation bc im going crazy .... thanks in advance

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biomomof1's picture

Submitted by biomomof1 on Thu, 02/26/2015 - 1:08pm

well the last 3 days have been snow days for us at work and school.... so im pretty sure we are all feed up w/ one another ... so i got onto my ss when he hit his brother yesterday put him in his room... husband was away fixing something at work calls me tells me he is getting the boys an icee i say thats fine but SS is in trouble he ask for what now... so i tell him what happens and tell him the icee for SS can go in the freezer... gets home says well i want to take the boys to see the snow on the 4wheeler i just look at him dumbfounded.... and start getting the youngest ready my ss meets DH in the garage and i can hear him say y did you do that now shes going to be mad all day... like really i already have BM making it out like im an evil Bitch... i dont need him to do the same.. what else can i do to make this better....

biomomof1's picture

Submitted by biomomof1 on Thu, 02/26/2015 - 1:40pm

i have tried that and my DH says well you have a favorite child and thats not true i love both my children the same just i cant look over the SS behavior

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Submitted by Aniki-Moderator on Thu, 02/26/2015 - 1:45pm

If your DH is refusing to allow you to "co-parent" and is not accepting the punishments you decide, then he needs to be 100% responsible.

biomomof1's picture

Submitted by biomomof1 on Thu, 02/26/2015 - 1:56pm

thank you so much for your advice.... and its not just my dh that shows favortism its him parents and his sister but yet me and my family are the ones that have a favorite ...

biomomof1's picture

Submitted by biomomof1 on Thu, 02/26/2015 - 2:33pm

i know biologically i only have one child but when i married my DH i signed up for taking on that responsibility i was his his only mom for 7 months his mom was arrested a month before i met my DH ..... i would like to think that i dont have a fav

biomomof1's picture

Submitted by biomomof1 on Thu, 02/26/2015 - 3:31pm

i was afraid that would happen i love my husband very much and in many ways yes my fav is my son but i love his son very much... and i agree completely w/ all the advice i really do...and i always thought that my marriage would not be the one that would end bc of my ss but i think eventually it will be and not so much bc of the ss more bc the dh will not back me... i really thank you all so much for all of your advice

biomomof1's picture

Submitted by biomomof1 on Thu, 02/26/2015 - 3:45pm

i thought about leaving him at home w/ his son but i didnt have my car bc of the weather .... Sad and i always go to my moms but then he is always just saying well its bc you have a bf which i dont but that is a dif subject matter

Maxwell09's picture

Submitted by Maxwell09 on Thu, 02/26/2015 - 5:41pm

This happened to me about an hour ago....long story short, SS3 asked to watch TV and I suggested he go play with his toys instead; Netflix was on but no one was watching so it sort of turns itself off and goes to a black screen. A few minutes later I hear SS3 in the kitchen asking DH if he can watch "his tv" now. DH started off with, "Maxwell is watching TV (on, but not playing), you can ask her if you can watch it" so I cut in real quick "Dad...we talked about this" and so he went on to tell SS3 "well I think its time to play with our toys, we've already watched movies today" and of course SS3 ran off pouty face to his room to go play.

Me and DH have talked and talked about this, I've reminded him several times that when he passes the 'decision maker' torch to me in front of SS (especially if the answer is "no") that he is setting me up to be the bad guy and that's not fair to me; I should be the one that gets to "yes" to having fun or going to get icees but until DH learns to say "no" that won't be happening.

biomomof1's picture

Submitted by biomomof1 on Fri, 02/27/2015 - 8:54am

i have the same problem but its crazy bc my DH always says no to our son but never to SS.... so im not sure if he feels bad bc our son lives w us full time and he is trying to make up for that ... but my SS lives w us and sees his BM only every other weekend.... so i dnt kno im am getting really fed up w all the crap my son gets pushed to the side all the time like last night for example im cooking and DH was about to go pick him check up from his mother... and SS says i want to go and he was going to leave our son at home im like awwww hell naw lol... i said well you cant take one and not the other bc if we are going to play like that i will take my baby and we will do something by ourselves ok fine ill take him im like really they are both your kids and all you are doing is picking up a check how hard is it ... needless to say he took both but i have to guilt trip him into it... but i never take one kid and not the other anywhere....