Hi All,

I am new to this site and really need some sort of advice and support to help me work through my feelings. :?

I have been on many websites and have had counselling over the years I have been with my husband for many issues.

I am not sure where to start with my story and request forgiveness if it goes on and on...it doesn't help that my 7 remaining family members live 135 miles away in a Southerly direction and I feel like I have no-one on my-side (if I need to feel I have sides) to understand what I have been going through for the last 14 years on and off.

I married my partner of 14 years, 5 years ago this December and we have had a beautiful 7 year old daughter together. He also has two daughters (26 and 24) from his first marriage which ended very accrimoniously - I played no part to that as I was only 11 when he first got married and they'd split 7 years before, when i came on the scene. He'd just broken up with his 'mistress' for whom he had cheated on with his first wife.

I was 31 and very very naive. I went from girlfriend to part-time step-mum within two months.

I have experienced every single emotion possible to man/woman/child over the last 14 years - however, I need help because I constantly feel like an outsider. Husband and ex-wife are friends now and I should be happy for them and the children, but I cannot understand why I feel so fed-up and home sick for most of the time.

This is only the tip of the ice-berg and like I say - I don't want to bore people - I just want to learn to understand how to build my self-esteem, confidence and feel like I am actually worth something to the man I married. I want us to move near to my family but feel guilty because I would be taking him and our daughter away from their home towns and family, etc, etc......

If anyone knows or understands what I am going through, your understanding would be received graciously...

Thanks for reading,

Billybee
xx