You are here

3 witches of Mordor

bilbo2018's picture

I have 3 stepdaughters,who have had it in for me since I married their mom (10 yrs ag0) . The eldest who is now 27 has been living with us on and off during this thime between school etc. My wife works so hard because she felt a responsibility to pay for her kid's college. It's cost us over $200,000 for the eldest two. The father agreed to pay for the youngest when she went because he hardly contributed for the eldest two. Now the yungest is graduating after the father backed out of his word and forced us to pay for her last year. In cany case, they've al been afforded the luxury of no student loans. I'm semi retired and have income from real estate and other ventures after selling my business 3 yers ago. 

Last  night the eldest came in after drinking and strarted a fight with us over somthing trivial and it escalated when she called me a loser, piece of s...t, and lazy because she told me I'm unemplyed and her mom works too hard. I asked her to leave when she got physical with her mom and came after me as well.I tried to force her out the door, to no avail. She calls the police on me, but after they talked to me they gave her time to gather her things and go stay with her dad. I said some things to her as well in the heat of argument.

The problem is now she claims I hit her, her other rwo sisters could not wait to join in on the hate frenzy... my wife is in the middle because she wants to maintain the relationship with them ( understandably) however I HATE these spoiled brats and dont want anything to do with them. What do I do since there are holidays etc. I have bit my tounge long enough. Any advise???

 

Comments

Survivingstephell's picture

You make it clear to your wife that she can have a relationship with the brats but not in your house.  She may see them in restaurants, their homes, anywhere but your home.  

The law was called in to sort out this mess.  That right there shows its out of  control and you need to step up and demand some new boundaries from them.  Wife brought this on by raising them to disrespect you and what you provided.  Shame on her.  

The only thing that matters now is the marriage.  Nothing else for you.  Wife will need to manage them on her own and keep you safe from them.  Would she stand up for you if you were hauled away in cuffs?   Can she structure her life so that won't happen???   Its on her now.  

Dovina's picture

should be coming down like a ton of bricks on her daughter IF she lied that you hit her. You could be charged for something you didnt do. What kind of wife would knowingly put her husband in an awful position where you could be in trouble with the law. Try gaining employment after this.. |This is one time where  a person with moral clarity defends her husband.in a heart beat Good luck

disrestep's picture

Advice:  Your wife is putting herself in the middle and is not stuck. Why would anyone wish to have a relationship with anyone who is violent toward them. Your wife needs to not tolerate this whatsoever.

Violence against you or your wife in your home is unacceptable. File a restraining order on the witch of mordor. I would contact the police and see if I could file a report against the monster SD. What kind of a wacko gets violent with their parent. That is awful.

If you know SD has been drinking and is driving a vehicle, call the authorities and have her pulled over for DWI.

Dont allow these witches in your home. It Is your home, and who welcomes people who cannot stand you in their home? 

You and your wife need to take an immediate united stance against the adult SD's before it gets worse. Trust me, they will get worse and not better. My adult skids hate my guts, and OSS whacked my DH's phone right out of his hand so DH would not talk to me. SD threw herself on top of DH's car so he would not drive home to see me. They are all verbally abusive to DH and I as well. These are adults and it is so bizarre how nasty they can be. 

As far as holidays, your wife should make it clear to her brood that she will not be joining them for holidays until they can respect your marriage and you and your wife. These are your DW's adult children and DW needs to deal with them and put them in their place. 

If adult skids have any keys to your home, change the locks. You need to protect yourself and your DW from this violence. Get a security system if you don't have one already.

make it clear to your DW that was the last straw and you will not tolerate this anymore.

Dont spend a dime of your money on these witches of Mordor anymore. Take them out of your will if they are in there and get a bank account just in your name,

good luck with everything.

 

oneoffour's picture

Let your DW have her relationship with her daughters however it will not be in your home. So she can choose where to spend her holidays. This is something she has allowed to simmer and fester over the years and now she gets to choose. Just tell her the girls are not allowed back in your home due to their problematic behaviour and you are not about to go to jail for something you didn't do. 

Then I would make an itemised account of the college expenditures for each of them and mail it to them. Add a note that this was done with your money and not your wife's money and they are not welcome back in your home that you paid for in full until they have a 180 attitude adjustment. You married their mother and not them so any benefits they ever got was because you CHOSE to. There was not legal entitilement to anything. In fact today you are heading to your lawyers office to make a few Will changes.

Of course all future financial benefits stop now. DW will be sad. Just be supportive but do not budge. You married her and not her daughters. Ms27 should be out on her own by now.

Stepped in what momma's picture

How come DW doesn't tell the other girls that she was there and that you didn't hit her but that she isn't welcome back because f what she did to both you and your DW?

Evil3's picture

You have every bit as much a DW problem as you do a SD problem. What did your DW do when you had to deal with the cops? Did she just let it happen in order for Poopsie to come first? Your story reminds me of a dumbass BM I work with. Her DD is 18 and has always been insane. She pulled a knife on her SF and tried to stab him and as five cops were trying to subdue the b*tch, my colleague was yelling the whole time, "but Poopsie comes first, but Poopsie comes first." You better believe I totally reamed her out when I heard about that. These idiotic bio parents are not at a loss as to what to do or caught in the middle. The real translation is, "I choose to pretend to not know what to do, because my balls/ovaries are in my out-of-control brats' pockets." Your DW is not caught in the middle. She damn well does know that she should be yanking her brats' chains and defending her equal partner: you. My question to you is how has your DW stood up for you? It is common to read on here that our spouses do not have our backs. We wait for them to defend us, because we think we're loved only we find out how unloved and how devalued we really are. So, that leaves our defence up to us. My home is my sanctuary and there have been people I have banned from my home. Not my SKs yet, but they've been on their best behaviour because they've seen me in action. My DH has not said a word, because 1) he knows what I've been through with the people I have banned and 2) he knows he failed to defend me from the mini-wife NPD b*tch of DD of his and that I'll leave his ass if he dares to require me to receive the treatment I have in the past. My DH is well aware that my home is my sanctuary and I will fight tooth and nail to make sure that my family's sanctuary remains an oasis for those of us who live there. Your home is your sanctuary. Sanctuaries do not have violent b*tches in it. Ban those b*tches and tell your DW that she better start having your back or she'll find herself living with one of her hags that she raised.

elkclan's picture

OK - look, from a legal point of view if you tried to push her out the door - even in self-defense, that's assault (at least in my jurisdiction). I get it - it's hard when you feel attacked. But the thing is, many men don't realise how frightening they can be to women just based on their body size, and voice volume, strength etc. It sounds like you really did lay hands on her. I'm not blaming you exactly BUT you need to realise that you took the bait, she attacked your 'breadwinner' status, etc - and you then crossed the line. 

That being said - your SD really crossed the line - and it sounds like she is an angry, horrible drunk and she has no business relying on your (shared) hospitality. I would not be as hard on the other daughters as has been suggested by others - of course when they've heard one side of the story, they are going to believe their sister. But I would take a wait and see approach.