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Just not that in to the Holidays

Beach's picture

I told my DH that my heart just wasn't in to all the decorating and other preparations we usually make for Christmas. For 14 years I made that our home was a place of comfort and holiday traditions for my SD. Her BM was too busy with men and drugs to bother, and I wanted my SD to have some good Christmas memories. After all that has transpired this year I just can't bring myself to get all enthused. Is this wrong? DH seems to understand, but also has made some comments about "cancelling" Christmas. It's not that I want to get all Scroogy, but really want to dial it down. Other thoughts about the holidays?

Comments

bellacita's picture

holidays are hard for me...i lost my mom when i was 18, and theyve never been the same since and most likely wont until i have kids of my own to focus on. being around DHs family at the holidays and celebrating the kids when WE have none together is hard too. but try to focus on what u DO have, and making it special for u and dh. dial it down by all means bc SD doesnt deserve what youve put forth in the past, but refocus the energy and time into making it nice for U and DH. do it for those who DO appreciate.

"Given the right reasons and the right two people, marriage is a wonderful way of experiencing your life."
~the late great George Carlin

KittyKat's picture

How ironic...BEACH...I spent Thankgiving at St. Pete
Beach with my BD (16) and left H to handle the
dysfunction of his loony tune family without me.

I would LOVE to do the same for Christmas, but it does get expensive!! I guess I'll suffer thru. My
family is really small and we don't live really close-by, so I've never been much of a "let's all
get together" holiday person.

The honest truth is that I hate the weather (Northeast) as I get older. I don't ski, I hate
being cold, I hate shoveling snow. Maybe I'll start
ice-skating again to get over the holiday STRESS! Smile

Maybe I AM a bah-humbug.

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."-Eleanor Roosevelt

Sia's picture

of people say this lately. I kind of feel the same way. I dont know what is going around this year, maybe it's in the water.
I am not familiar with your situation to make you feel the way you do, but try not to let it get you so down that you cant enjoy a holiday you love! I agree with Bella, do it for you!

bellacita's picture

its hard to get excited about the holidays when most likely ALL the focus is on the skids, sometimes to the neglect of the biokids. and if u dont yet have biokids, like me, its sad bc everyone is fussing about another woman's kid(s). i know they are DHs too...but still..it just kinda hurts. combine that w some skids who are ungrateful, unappreciative brats...and its like, what are we doing this for?

"Given the right reasons and the right two people, marriage is a wonderful way of experiencing your life."
~the late great George Carlin

secondwife20's picture

I totally agree, bella.

I want so badly to have kids of my own, but since I'm going to school it wouldn't be a good time right now. Til then... I have to deal with SD8 and hear how wonderful she is and how much she deserves all these presents!

Bleh. It just makes me want to barf.

That child is going to get a piece of coal from me.

bellacita's picture

it sucks if ur not a mom urself bc the holidays are about family and kids...and then w these inlaws alot of us have...its almost like rubbing the DHs previous relationships in our faces. but then again, if u do have kids, there are problems there too. its tough all around im afraid Sad

"Given the right reasons and the right two people, marriage is a wonderful way of experiencing your life."
~the late great George Carlin

secondwife20's picture

It's okay... someday we'll have children of our own and we can celebrate Christmas together without stupid, spoiled skids.

And sorry for the cheesy title... Biggrin

Beach's picture

Still don't see myself doing all the decorating, but he does love my sugar cookies, and the prime rib I fix on Christmas Eve. I have put out a nice centerpiece, so I think I will at least still have my SIL over and enjoy the evening. DH does appreciate and love me, so why should he be punished?

bellacita's picture

see?! thats better, rite? focus on him. he's all that matters Wink

"Given the right reasons and the right two people, marriage is a wonderful way of experiencing your life."
~the late great George Carlin

bewitched's picture

"To Thine Own Self Be True" William Shakesphere

Oh, H wants me to decorate the whole house! (I could-I've got tons of xmas stuff from my past). Because H's darlin's have never had the "traditional" Christmas. Ummm, whose fault, exactly, is that? He had them with him for 14 years. Now comes the poor single dad cry!

Well, I was a single mom-for many many years-and I put on beautiful Chistmas' for my sons, with very little expense, but alot of hard work.

H's darlin's may not have had the tree (ummm, could it be, now that I have hindsite-that he was simply too lzy to put one up?). But boy, did they have the gifts!

Looking forward to Christmas 2009! Surely by then, I'll have my own little life back! Smile

sarahbernheart's picture

I think the melancholy can be part of the bad economy, FH and I had to take pay cuts.
also my sons go to Il to spend the holiday with ex's family.
they do come home and we celebrate it then but I am just not in the mood for it all.

"Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without one."

KeepsGettingBetter's picture

but I'm going to try very hard to get myself into the sprit. I love Christmas and always have. I've always decorated the main rooms and love putting up the tree and wrapping presants, but with the relationship being so up and down lately I just don't have it in me to be happy and jolly.
BF is trying to get me in the mood as he does love how the house looks once I've finished the decorations, so I'll see how I go this weekend, it may cheer me up abit once it's all up and happy looking.