Yet another way BM has managed to eff up my life...
DH and I rent our home. It was actually mine, then DH and SD moved in after we married. While it was great for a single girl, it's a little small for 2 adults, a 6 yr old and 2 big dogs. We had planned on buying within about 6 months of marriage. Since I had great credit and we both made decent money when we married, buying really would not have been a problem for us, even without a big downpayment. However, since BM went batshit crazy when we married, we have been engaged in a 3 year long court battle costing over $15K. So, that makes things a little tougher.
Yesterday, one of my friends had her home featured in a local paper. It's absolutely gorgeous. They have been married less time than DH and I. Then last night, we were watching "The Office" - the episode where Jim buys his fiancée a house. DH got really down and said "That's my dream. I really wanted out lives to be like that. I'm sorry I can't give it to you." I mean, he was almost crying.
The kicker is this: DH's grandparents put around $20K into a trust for him when he was a kid to be used as a downpayment on a home. When BM got preggo, DH moved into her shitty condo with her. This was during the housing crash. The condo was located in a very expensive area of the country and also one of the worst affected by the crash. Over the course of about a year, BM's adjustable rate mortgage raised astronomically, like to 20plus%. Plus the HOA fees kept going up each month as more condos were foreclosed upon. BM stopped working when she was a few months pregnant and DH was working 2 jobs to make ends meet. She convinced him to "borrow" the money to pay the mortgage from his trust so that she wouldn't lose her house. When they had drained the trust, she lost the condo in foreclosure anyway and they were forced to move into a rental. A few months after that, she packed up SD and moved halfway across the country to live with her father.
So, now DH and I have no downpayment because that stupid whore BM robbed him of it for no reason whatsoever except that she was too stupid and lazy to own a home. Of course, she was able to declare bankruptcy a couple years ago so her life can continue on debt-free yet DH and I are swimming in debt because of her. I know DH is partly to blame, but I really, really hate that woman.
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Comments
He was also stupid enough to
He was also stupid enough to go along with it and waste all of his money on her condo.
Stop "letting" her eff up your life.
Find a GOOD realtor, apply for a mortgage, start looking at houses. Who cares if you have no down payment? If you still have good credit, a good mortgage broker will be able to find you a way to buy.
Yes, you are right. He is
Yes, you are right. He is partly to blame for letting her talk him into that crazy scheme. However, she could have kept working instead of quitting her job at 5 mos. pregnant because it was "too hard" for her to work. She also could have sold her condo BEFORE the crash & moved to DH's town where he had an excellent job making bank instead of forcing him to quit & move to her crap condo & work 2 shitty jobs. So yeah, I blame her a little more.
I understand that we can buy w/o a downpayment, however we are now saddled with legal fees to pay so any move is impossible. And the legal fees ARE all BM's fault.
Thanks, tausha. For minute
Thanks, tausha. For minute there, I forgot I was on a venting site! Glad to see someone understands.
Actually, no he wasn't
Actually, no he wasn't married to BM. It was her condo & his name was not even on the mortgage. If they had somehow miraculously saved the house by spending the money, maybe I could see a positive spin on this. But they didn't. BM lost the house & they ended up in a rental. So the end result was exactly the same. That is what makes me so mad - that the money was WASTED. Also, don't you think BM had any responsibility in providing for her family? Well, neither did she because she quit working at 5 mos. pregnant & never went back. Maybe she should have kept working before she asked DH to raid his trust fund. I'm not sure why you think I want to "get my hands on that money". In fact, I stated in my post that it was DH that was so upset that he cannot buy the house we were both hoping for.
One more thing, imasmom: Yes,
One more thing, imasmom: Yes, it does affect me. DH could have used that money to pay his legal fees, paid his CS arrears, or a myriad of other ways. Instead, he & I are swimming in debt and almost all of it is due to BM. Btw, the cs arrears are not DH's fault. BM lied in court & as usual, family court sided with the GU.
sueu2, Did you even read my
sueu2, Did you even read my post? DH is the one who is upset that we cannot buy a home now. I would never convince him to use the money on me or for my purposes because that is not the kind of person I am. I have always worked for everything I own and never been handed anything. Nor would I expect it. If I was stupid enough to make a bad business deal, I wouldn't expect my SO or anyone else to bail me out. Besides, there are alot of things that DH could have used that money for such as paying his legal fees, settling his CS arrears (that's another crock of BS cooked up by BM), or using it to sstart his business on his own instead of with a loan. So it's not just ME I'm thinking about, it's DH as well.
You also said the money was put to good use. BM's house was foreclosed & she declared bankruptcy. So the end result was exactly the same. That money was WASTED. DH & BM should have just packed up & left before they wasted his money because now everyone loses out. DH didn't sign that mortgage nor was his name on the deed. They weren't even married. Whether BM lost that house or not would have had zero effect on his life.
The wasted money our bm have
The wasted money our bm have cost us boils my blood!!!!! Over 10,000.00 in legal fees - a foreclosure instead of a short sale on her and DH - over $50,00.00 in alimony - no CS from her - no help with braces - makes me sick!!!
And she says DH fu*ked her over financially. Yeah right you stupid crazy, ugly thief!
No one predicted the housing
No one predicted the housing crash. Many people were affected. Your dh got off easy. Think of the 20k as his rent. How ling did he live in the condo? Be proud your dh supported his first family. He manned up..good for him! Please stop resenting bm getting to his money. You would have expected him to use it on your family too. It is water under the bridge now. Use your energy to make your dream of owning a home a reality.