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Always Annoyed with Step daughter

AnnoyedSMofSD's picture

Hello all,

This is my first post. I have been with my DH for 13 years so my step daughter was not even 2 when we got together and we always got along just fine. I was always annoyed dealing with her mother but everything was okay until she got older. Then I had my own kids and I literally hate her coming to our house. She is always in trouble, always failing classes and getting caught smoking pot and whatever else. Whenever she us here the entire atmosphere changes and everyone is walking on eggshells.. Her mother tried to get her to live with us because she is always nasty and in trouble. but my husband will not let me disapline her which makes everything impossible.  So I put my foot down and said no. I do not want her as a role model with my girls either nor do I care to be disrespected on the daily and I can do nothing about it without it becoming a fight. I feel bad that I hate her being around but I don't think it is possible to change it.


-Annoyed SM


Pineapple's picture

My SD15 has been living with us since the pandemic lockdown started, and I cringe at the sight of her. The worst part is the bad influence on my daughter, which I can't stand. I do my best to keep her away from SD but it's not always possible and I just can't stand it. DH is a Disney dad and SD can do no wrong, he lets her dress like a prostitute, and I am just so embarrassed by her that I don't go anywhere with them. She's disgusting, never cleans up after herself and has no manners, constantly coughing and sniffing all over the place; she's so gross. I am totally disengaged to the point I barely even speak to her now. 

In my opinion you have done the right thing by saying no. You don't need that influence on your own children, and them learning her ways and behavior. 

AnnoyedSMofSD's picture

My SD stayed with us for awhile when her mother couldn't handle her and it just about tore my family apart and she also dresses either homeless or like a prostitute!

Dogmom1321's picture

SD10 honestly annoys BOTH DH and myself. She is incredibly rude. She has always had an attitude since I met her at 5, but she has gotten worse over the years. I try my absolute hardest to avoid any conversation with her because she has to have the last word and her negativity is just draining. 

Example comments include:

*unsolicited towards me* "I don't think that color looks good on you."

*I picked up pizza from a local restaurant* "It took so long for that? I only like dominos." 

asked SD to put her skateboard upstairs "Why does my stuff have to go in my room??"

DH told her our baby boy's name would be Knox "Ugh, I wanted it to be Kyle"

DH got her a nintendo for Christmas "I mean, you can't expect me to play just one game all the time and not get bored."



Johnm0819's picture

This brings me back to Christmas with SD9 interrupting everyone while opening gifts with "Um just letting whoever got this for me know, I already have this." I was ready to walk out of Christmas.

AnnoyedSMofSD's picture

My SD is definitely worse with her mother since she is not disaplined at all there but she is rude at my house especially to my two little ones.

AnnoyedSMofSD's picture

Ugh thay sounds terrible. It is so hard finding people who understand what this feels like. Thanks so much for aharing

Wicked stepmo.'s picture

I can totally relate. I have grown to dislike my OSD 14 so much that I am ready to break up with SO in order to never have to see the likes of her again. 

She is rude, loud, belligerent, obnoxious, and downright ratchet. She drinks, does drugs, runs away, dresses like she works at Hooters, prostitutes herself on social media. She is cold hearted, narcissistic and self- centered. 

She is lazy, entitled and has zero life skills. I wouldn't dare be seen with her in public, nor would I want to have to spend even a minute interacting with her. 

The truth is yes I dislike her, but that it's SOs fault that I do, because he does nothing but encourage the behavior by constantly allowing it and rewarding it. If he tried for a minute to correct her behavior I could hold out optimism she could change. But since he doesn't I know she will not.

I used to care about trying to find a way to live with SD and make it work for the sake of my relationship. But not anymore, I am at the point where I stopped caring and SO has no one to blame but himself for that.

I couldn't imagine being him and not being completely embarrassed that no one wants your kid around and upset that you don't get invited places because people don't want you to bring your kid. 

AnnoyedSMofSD's picture

I gave up and that has made things a bit easier. Sometimes I get upset still but ai keep it to myself so DH and I fight less. Sometimes he seems upset our relationship has fallen apart but he doesn't let me disapline her so it is easier this way.