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anglhrtlady's picture

Submitted by anglhrtlady on Thu, 09/04/2014 - 12:41pm

Hello everyone, I read through some of the replies and posts and I feel like I am not alone but yet I also feel scared. My dh and I have 6 adult children between us. We have been together almost 3 yrs and married almost 1 yr. In that time, we have had one of his daughters living with us. I would say our total time alone together has been about 6 months. Def not what I wanted for my first year of a happy married. (2nd marriage for me)
Our kids are 24, 23, 20, his girls. and mine are 26, 24, 20 and middle is a son.
Right now we have 3 adult children living with us, one being my youngest and the other 2 are his middle and youngest. His middle daughter has 2 children and his youngest has 1. But before the youngest moved in his oldest daughter was living with us and she has 2 children.

Needless to say I am at my witts end and it is because his daughters they aren't really rude to me but they try to cause problems and it is mostly with my daughter. I do not even know where to start. Too much to tell. I am just wondering if it is all worth it. DH and I are great. We are a team. But are kids and mostly his girls are driving us crazy.

I just feel helpless.

Comments

StepX2's picture

Submitted by StepX2 on Thu, 09/04/2014 - 1:04pm

I lived your life for awhile and it is what originally brought me to STalk.
I understand wanting to help out YOUR child but there really isn't any argument that you can use without sounding like you're singling out his kids.
I agree that once they have kids they should most definitely be on their own and your child at the house doesn't have kids but for the sake of your sanity right now you need to express that they ALL need to leave. Can either of your other two kids help your youngest out for a little while?

hereiam's picture

Submitted by hereiam on Thu, 09/04/2014 - 1:06pm

I guess the question is, WHY are these adults living with you?

I agree with GoAwayPlz, the adults with kids of their own need to be, well, on their own. Is your daughter in college or what is her situation?

My SD has 2 kids and lives with her BM, I will not let her live with me and DH. She is so lazy, she will not even take advantage of the resources available to her that I looked up and gave her the information for, like help with getting a job. She better hope BM is in good health for a long time.

Time to have the talk with your husband and formulate a plan that moves you towards an empty nest.

ChiefGrownup's picture

Submitted by ChiefGrownup on Thu, 09/04/2014 - 1:35pm

Yes, welcome.

Get these adults out of your house. All of them.

It's too late to teach them that if they are going to be having babies they had better be prepared to care for themselves and their offspring cuz you ain't doin' it. Personally, I would have taught them that long ago.

But that ship has already sailed for your family so you'll have to start from now. Get the oldest one out first then work on the 2 twenty year olds.

AND THEN NEVER LET ANY OF THEM BACK.

Teas83's picture

Submitted by Teas83 on Thu, 09/04/2014 - 1:37pm

What's with kids living with their parents well into their 20s these days? (I'm only 31 so I shouldn't be saying "these days".)

I moved out when I was 18 to go to university and didn't move back (other than during the summers between school years to work in my home town). I was financially independent by 23.

Why are all these kids still living with you? Do they at least have jobs? Or are they attending a post-secondary instituation full time? Where are the fathers to the grandchildren?

She_Sparkles's picture

Submitted by She_Sparkles on Thu, 09/04/2014 - 1:38pm

I've been wondering that myself! I'm 32,DH is 32 and he had friends that are approaching late 30's early 40's who STILL live with mom and dad. It's unreal to me.
I couldn't imagine putting up with parental bullshit past the age of 18.

She_Sparkles's picture

Submitted by She_Sparkles on Thu, 09/04/2014 - 1:39pm

full time school and full time work meant you were just sleeping there and occasionally eating food there LOL

anglhrtlady's picture

Submitted by anglhrtlady on Thu, 10/09/2014 - 12:30pm

Thank you everyone for the input. As for the adults children living with us DH doesn't have the heart to say no to a point. esp when they have their own children. I agree with you all. I mean yes my daughter is with us as well but she has a plan a goal. His girls have not.
We did have a meeting and set a get out of our house date lol just so everyone knows. It definitely has been a struggle but DH and I remain a UNIT.
I am counting down the days!!!!!!