Why me
About time I find a place I can vent and express my feelings. Might not always be right but atleast I can get your opinions or advice.
Just had one question? I thought choosing a man with a child/children was easier to deal with when you have children of your own? I think it's the most difficult thing to deal with.. I want to be single again and live with only my kids and I.
This daddy and daughter thing is to much for me. She is treated like his wife, I tell him over and over he doesn't need me in his life all he needs is his little princess by his side. I have never ever seen a man show so much affection and love to his daughter did I say never?! It's soooo feeaking annoying makes me gag:/
A six year old gets treated like a women or I get treated like a kid, still haven't figured it out. He calls us both babe which annoys me makes me sick to my stomache we both answer to him. Ugh
I find myself looking for excuses just to stay out of the house when she's there I recently asked for more hours at work so I don't come home early, the only bad thing about that is that it also takes time away from me seeing my kids. But I honestly can't spend a whole day with her in our home. We have her every Fri-Monday. She totally gets whatever she wants. And I mean this little girl has everything a little girl wants. She has the finest jewellery, clothes and shoes. When I told him he was insane for spending so much money he replied with my daughter doesn't have a price limit. Ugh gets me mad thinking about it. Thanks to all who will respond to this. So happy to get this of my shoulder.
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If you've been following
If you've been following along here as you say you have then my response will come as no surprise to you: Run. Now. It'll only get worse. I too wish I had never entered this relationship and long for a simpler time with just Me and my kiddos.
I second the above advice and
I second the above advice and am the same on the wishing for the days before I met DH.
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Yes I found this site today
Yes I found this site today and have not logged off. Actually still trying to figure out a couple things which I will in time.
Thanks for advice, I have tried to leave but he makes me feel horrible and and like we are going to affect the children in a negative way. I can honestly say I think I stay because of financial reasons. He makes me feel like I will making the worst mistake ever if I leave him, I guess I start to believe him.
Whoa. If the only reasons you
Whoa. If the only reasons you are not leaving because he makes you feel bad about the kids and because of money then it is definitely time to make an action plan to exit. If you said "I am not leaving because he's wonderful in so many XYZ ways and I want to work through these XYZ issues" then I'd fully support your staying. But damn girl, you just said a mouthful.
First, do NOT stay for the kids. I remember feeling this way as a young single mom with the wrong guy. He didn't have kids but I had my son and those two were close. I felt horrible and stayed way longer than I should because I didn't want to impact my kid. Guess what? My kid missed him a while and it was over. Everyone moved on. (Except the man who BTW named his subsequent kid after mine, but I digress).
What you NEED to is come up with a plan to move yourself away from this. Focus on the finances. Get an extra job if you can. Sock away cash. Call in favors from relatives. Do whatever it takes to get yourself out if you are staying for those reasons. Trust me. I moved 2000 miles to make myself leave the man in my situation. And I have never, ever, ever regretted it.
I don't know why I find
I don't know why I find excuses, everyone tells me how lucky I am for having a man like him who takes care of us and helps me raise my kids but I honesty can't deal with his relationship with his daughter, this is my main issue, if he didn't have his daughter I would have the man of my dreams. He is everything I want just without the daughter. I actually loved being around his daughter until I noticed how spoiled she was and how clingy she is to him.
I know what you said is correct and I know I must get out soon. I just feel confused. Thanks so much need to think about it and start planning a way out.
He is using emotional
He is using emotional blackmail to make you stay. It's never worth staying if you're unhappy, and I agree that things will only get worse. He is creating a monster and if he cannot see that pandering to her like this is causing harm to her, you and your marriage then it's not worth the years of resentment, unhappiness and anger you are going to suffer. Take some time to read through other posts - you will see the results of disney parenting and what many step parents go through because of it. Read up on mini-wife syndrome - there are lots of people on here who have experience of it and are living with constant stress, frustration and misery because of it. This kid will grow into a selfish, entitled brat who knows just how to manipulate dad to get what she wants - and he will fall for it every time. It won't matter about the needs or feelings of you or your kids. As long as his little princess gets what she wants that's all he cares about and you will always be a second class citizen in his eyes.
I understand that you're worried about finances and I know that being a single parent struggling to make ends meet is no fun (I've been there myself), but being in a toxic relationship like this with someone who shows you no respect is worse. It's going to affect your kids too - how will they feel when they see their step sister getting everything her own way while you're trying to raise them properly and don't indulge their every whim?
Get out while you can. If you end up having a child with him it will make it twice as hard to leave and you will not be able to sever all contact until that child is an adult. He is manipulating you. Do not fall for his crap or let him make you feel guilty for wanting to leave. Yes it will affect the kids, but in the long term it will be better for you and your kids - they won't grow up in a toxic environment with an unhappy mother and they won't have him and his daughter's bad example of a parent/child relationship. How it affects him and his kid is not your problem and not your responsibility. He is putting you down to make you believe you have no choice but to stay and that is very wrong of him. Google emotional abuse and read up on the signs, definitions and effects on the person being abused - I bet you'll find confirmation that that is what he trying to do to you. You and your kids deserve better, so leave him and his little darling to live happily ever after and get your life back!
I will definitely do some
I will definitely do some research on mini-wife syndrome, im actually looking forward to this. When we argue he 100% of the time it's because of her, and yes I start them but that's only because I see so many things that bother me and it affects my moods which causes us to argue. Now in his mind he says I'm jealous of his 6 year old and I have daddy issues. But I am gonna start to plan how to get out. My mom always told me I shouldn't date a man with kids. But I didn't listen.
Tell me why I wake up this
Tell me why I wake up this morning and I just make a comment about his daughter and right away he says I'm jealous...
Sometimes I wish I can slap him. I don't think it's jealousy I don't know exactly what it is but it's more like annoying with the things she does and how he approaches them.
hahahaa Lynn123, I called my
hahahaa Lynn123, I called my DH a fucktard tonight and he got soooo pissed. Sorry, it is the truth!!
Ugh I only wish he can snap
Ugh I only wish he can snap out of it. Like damn I love my kids to but Im not up their a**!
keekeedee, thanks for the
keekeedee, thanks for the response. So do you have a child with your husband??
This man would be the perfect man if he didn't have his daughter. I swear this little brat acts like she's and he treats her like a princess. Now I have two kids of my own thru a previous marriage and my kids don't see their dad much so it upsets me to see my fiancé give his daughter kisses every 5 minutes and show her a lot of affection in front of my kids, don't get me wrong I give my kids when they wake up go to sleep when I take them to school or pick them up but when were home I do t feel the need to kiss them 5 mins, she also asks for kisses and it drives me nuts or when she wakes up she goes over to her dads side to get into bed with him, he says no but she whines and gets her way. By blood boils. I could keep going with all my problems. I just feel like I'm gonna loose a good man but at the same time I can't stand the relationship him and his 6 year old have. She can only wear Abercrombie & Fitch he spends like 1000 dollars on her for Christmas or birthdays its sickening.
Hope what i wrote makes
Hope what i wrote makes sense, I was typing a little fast and left out a couple words:/
Yes I've been to one session
Yes I've been to one session by myself, I would love to make it a routine and maybe go once a week if possible. He has told me he doesn't have a problem. So he feels he doesn't need to go although if I really ask him to join he would. He constantly repeats he is Italian and that's how Italian people are they kiss on the lips and they are very affection. If I was to leave this relationship he would look at it as my loss, he has told me to wake up and and see I have a good life an a good man that loves me as much as his daughter he also loves to remind me how lucky I am to have him. This is only brought up when we are arguing, he also loves to say how much he does for me and my two kids and because of him my kids and I are more stable and are not all over the place. This is because I own my own business and I use to work all day and I would bring my kids to work on school night and he was against that.
I just can't compete this is not who I am, I don't think I need to wake up unhappy or wake up feel miserable.
Maybe I should get counselling and not tell him right away.