I am the STAH 'mom' for SD2. She is almost 3, and I have never seen a worse case of the 'terrible twos.' DH has sole custody, and BM has still yet to grace anyone with her presence at a visit. (They are supervised only). So while DH works 6 days a week, 10 hour days, I stay home with SD, all day every day. I wouldn't have it any different, most days... I am 20 weeks pregnant with my first, and exhausted. I have something called hyperemesis and I have actually lost weight so far in my pregnancy.
My OB says that I need to listen to my body since this is my first pregnancy and rest all I can... OK, so who wants to come watch SD all day so I can rest. SD has stopped taking naps for the most part; she cries, yells, kicks, punches, pounds on the walls, and screams that she needs a drink, or to go potty or, or, or... It was frustrating before I got pregnant, and now I am almost too tired to give to flying sh*ts. She will stay in her bed until her 'quiet time' is over but it the furthest thing from quiet time ever. Around 5pm she is ready to fall fast first into whatever she is doing because she is so tired at the point.
DH gets home around 530 every night, dinner is at 545ish, and then we have to get SDs bedtime routine done (at this point she is so tired and grumpy she doesn't even like being around herself). By this time is around 750 and I feel like falling asleep standing up. The kitchen looks like whatever we had for dinner, and the dinning room is worse. 2 year olds want to feed themselves, but SD doesn't fully understand not turning her silverware upside down before it reaches her mouth. (DH always smiles and goes "How cute" whenever she dumps half her plate on the floor..)
At this point in the evening there is a 50/50 chance that DH will tell me to go lay down and relax and he will clean up the kitchen. "That would be so awesome!" I say, "Are my feet supposed to hurt this bad?" This would really be awesome if it actually happened... DH works all day and I don't doubt he is tired when he gets home, but if your not going to do something don't offer to do it. Every time DH has offered to clean up the kitchen it doesn't happen. I go upstairs and fall asleep with my book on my chest, DH leaves for work in the morning while I shower and wake up before the SD attack. I go into the kitchen and ... :jawdrop:
Congrats if you guessed it! The kitchen looks the same as when I went upstairs the night prior. Only now the food that didn't get rinsed off is caked on, and the smell coming from the garbage that wasn't taken out is making my pregnant nose tell my pregnant stomach to go empty itself pronto! Thanks DH oh so so much!
Last night I was in a fowl mood to begin with, SD was unusually awful and her voice was becoming a cheese grater to my brain by the time DH walked in the door. I was snappy and rude, and when SD asked for bubbles in her bath, I snapped. "DO YOU THINK YOUR BEHAVIOR TODAY WAS ANYWHERE CLOSE TO BEING OKAY ENOUGH FOR YOU TO ASK FOR BUBBLES IN YOUR BATH?!" DH gave me a look and told me he would handle the bedtime routine and I could go relax. Of course I can't just go relax, because that was my chance to clean the f^&king kitchen. So after SD is in bed, DH has the nerve to ask me what is wrong.
I'll admit that I am one of those people that bottle things inside until the pressure builds so much that the cork comes off at sometimes inappropriate times.
DH popped my cork last night.
I literally let everything I have been holding and it was bad.
I explained to DH that my days are filled with SD, and sometimes it is just too much for me. 'I am pregnant and exhausted all the time. Every time I go the OB she asks me if I am resting enough, and I don't even know what enough looks like for a pregnant person. I just don't understand why you didn't use protection with BM! (it slipped out, but I couldn't stop it there) You tell me that you were done with that relationship long before she got pregnant, and you were moving to a different town when she called and let you know she was knocked up. So why the f^&k were you sticking anything inside that woman?!'
I was so livid at the point that hot tears were coming down my face.
DH stares at me, you could almost hear him blinking in the silence. And then he opens his mouth, "I don't understand why you keep throwing it in my face that I slept with BM."
:jawdrop:
"When have I ever brought up the fact that you had to have sex with that vile woman in order for SD to be here today? When have I ever complained about taking care of SD all day every day? And now that I am pregnant, have you ever heard me complain about throwing up all the time while SD screams 'mommy okay?!' at me?! Do you know how hard it is to keep a 2 year old from sticking her head in the toilet and seeing what you are doing while you are bowing down to it?"

So at this point I am crying and sobbing and again DH stares at me for about 2 solid minutes before opening his mouth again.
"I feel guilty that you have to take care of SD all day every day, I wish I could make it easier for you."
This is where I honestly snapped and probably over stepped.
I looked at him, and almost smiled.
"You should feel guilty that you couldn't wear a condom with BM. You should feel guilty that you were still f^&king her when you knew the relationship was over. You should feel guilty for knocking her ass up, and now that you've knocked me up, you should feel guilty that you can't clean the f^&king kitchen when you say you are going to!"
I stormed upstairs and went to bed. I wasn't going to stand there and have him stare at me for another 2 minutes before saying something that was just going to make me more upset. DH didn't bother me the rest of the night, and I am worried about when he gets home tonight.

Thank you if you made it this far. Should I apologize at all for the way everything came out last night, or should I just leave it and wait for him?