Sorry this is so long. I made a very good friend at work. We hung out a lot, did play dates with our kids. She was with me throughout my divorce.

Sometimes though she would get real pushy with her advice even when she didn’t know what she was talking about.

For example, when I was going through my divorce, my friend, who knows next to nothing about divorce, would try push her advice on me about the divorce. We would wind up getting into arguments because she didn’t agree with what I was doing.

One example - my attorney told me to ask for alimony. Mind you, I was not planning on collecting alimony, this was merely a bargaining tactic he told me to use to get what I really wanted, which was the house. This is common in divorces, ask for more than what you want and you’ll wind up settling for what you really wanted in the first place. But my friend didn’t understand that concept. She basically said I was a terrible person for asking for alimony, went on and on about how wrong I was. So I stopped telling her about the divorce because I couldn’t trust she wouldn’t attack me for what I was doing. She realized I wasn’t talking to her about it anymore, she apologized and told me I could talk to her and she wouldn’t attack me. Okay, she got better about it, but only for a while.

Another example, I was suspecting something was wrong with my D14, either ADHD, autism or an auditory processing disorder. She was very unsupportive of my concerns.

“Why do you want to find something wrong with her?” she’d tell me, “D14 is just like me, and look at me, I turned out fine. Stop trying to find something wrong with her.”

But I KNEW something was not right with my daughter, and I was determined to get her the help she needed. In the meantime I stopped talking to my friend about D14’s problems. After a while, she noticed I had stopped talking to her about it and told me she was sorry for giving me a hard time about it and wanted to know how things were going with her. "Don't worry," she said, "You can tell me what's going on, I won't attack you."

In the course of our seven year friendship, this would happen every six months to once a year. She’d get real pushy with her advice to the point where I would stop talking to her about whatever the subject was. She’d realize she went too far and would apologize and promise she wouldn't judge or attack me for whatever was going on. Then, months even years later she'd throw it back in my face.

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Last year we had a discussion and she said some really hurtful things to me that was kind of the tipping point for me. I had just got out of a two year relationship with a man that had a 7 year old son. Not only was this guy a guilty/lazy parent, but his job situation was precarious. He was an independent contractor, his work was never steady, he had no benefits, he had never paid taxes, which meant he had never paid into social security.

I broke up with him because not only did he not want to parent his son, his job situation was not good. I was concerned that when we got to retirement age, we were going to end up like his parents. His father never had a steady job, and so his parents basically lived off of his mother’s social security benefits. That future scared me. So I broke up with him.

So I was talking to my friend about things and I told her I wanted to date a guy that had no kids and had a good job. She said I was a hypocrite because even though I have kids, I wanted a man that didn’t have kids. She called me a gold digger because I said I wanted a guy that made at least $50K a year.

She kept going on and on, wouldn’t listen to my reasons WHY I wanted a guy with no kids and a good job. Even though she knew all about the problems I had with my exH, who was terrible with money, and my exBF, who was terrible as a parent.

She went on a tirade, even brining up my D14 again, and that I was wrong for "trying to find something wrong with D14". (Eventually I was proved right about my daughter, a couple of months after this conversation my D14 was diagnosed with an auditory processing disorder.)

Anyway, by the end of the conversation she realized how harsh she was being and apologized, but the damage was already done. Even though I told it was okay, I was still very hurt. I felt like things like this kept happening and I couldn’t keep a friend that I couldn’t talk to because I was afraid she would attack me for what I told her.

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Since that conversation we’ve talked a couple of times. Last phone conversation we had I couldn’t resist telling her I was dating someone who had no kids, was making six figures and that we were planning on moving in together. She seemed happy for me.

Since then we haven’t talked. She texted me back in February to say she hoped I had a good Valentine’s Day. I texted her back, said thanks you too.

My plan was to gradually fade out of her life, but I did not want to become her enemy. I just wanted to maintain a lot of distance.

So now that’s happened. I texted her on Mother Day’s to wish her a Happy Mother’s day but she didn’t text me back. Just today I got curious and went to check out her facebook page. I saw that she had unfriended me. That hurt.

I know I’ve been distant, but to take that step was kind of overboard to me. Even if we don’t talk anymore, did she have to unfriend me?

The only thing I wonder about is should I have confronted her about how bad she hurt my feelings, but then again, I wonder if my words would make any difference? When you talk to her, she just starts talking and talking, she doesn’t let you get a word in edge wise and even when she does it’s like she’s deaf and can’t hear anything you’re telling her. Or maybe she'll apologize, say she was wrong for attacking you, then months later she throws it back in your face and attacks you for it again.

I suppose I don't need friends like this, but it still hurts. My girls miss her and wonder why we don't visit her anymore. I guess I’m just mourning the loss of my friendship with her.