New Here, Stay or Go
Hi all, I’ve been trolling these boards for a year or so. I met a man after he had separated from his wife, they’ve been divorced since January. Backstory: We started dating December 2016 - they first separated in July 2015 after she kicked him out, she’d been having an affair and wanted to try things out with the other guy, they have two kids. A year later she wanted to try again, he moved back in, but was wary and she ended up with the same guy, asked him to leave again. I met him two months afterwards. I knew it was a bad idea but he was so handsome, funny and charming, I fell fast. I met the kids, he talked about reversing his vasectomy, and he filed for divorce. BM is an alcoholic and lost her mind.
He ended it about seven months in. She was causing a lot of problems and there was a barrage of angry texts, phone calls. She fell after drinking too much, her brain started to bleed, then two months later she totaled her car and got a DUI. My boyfriend wanted to try again but I couldn’t really get all in. He also changed his mind about more kids. I have none.
She asked him over for Thanksgiving and told him she wanted to try again and he briefly considered it. I was not impressed but we did continue to see each other sometimes. I still wanted a baby and he had done a 180. Now, almost two years later I’m still stuck. I’m 39 and not feeling great about my chances. BM is talking about moving across the country in 2 years and he won’t follow. I love this guy, despite the drama, but I’m afraid to commit again, especially if I’m in the kid’s lives again. I’m afraid she’s going to go psycho again. Last week she sent him a text saying Sweet Dreams, Dan xx” He thought it was hilarious and didn’t respond but I was pissed. He said if we get serious again there will be a conversation about boundaries with her but I’m feeling hesitant to go down that road again. Any thoughts on this situation?