New Years Eve Hell
I hate New Years Eve with a passion. My two irritating SKIDS are here every year and I have to spend most of the evening with them. It was actually just dinner and from 8-12. I try to tell myself to just put up with them but they drive me nuts every time. SD 14 always does this super annoying baby talk each and every time she sees one of our 6 cats. Tonight she decided she needs to squeall or yell every time she sees her cat which I was nice enough to allow her to get.. Loud noises bother me a lot and she is old enough that she doesnt need to do this. I have had several conversations with my wife about how the baby talk is getting annoying because all 3 of them do it now. Then we go on a walk and SD 14 whines the whole time and make the whole thing miserable. We get back and do sparklers which was fine. We were then going to watch a movie and my wife pulled me aside to say SS 10 wanted to sleep on the couch (ridiculous he still wamts this). I agreed and decided to let her know that I could not handle SD 14'S squealling and it needs to stop. I was firm because when I talked her how the baby talk was getting annoying with all 3 of them doing it and it basically went no where. She then asked my why it bothered me which I feel is irrelevant and that it just needs to stop. She also accused me of being short and not talking during the walk because it which was not the case. If any one ruined the walk it was the whiny 14 year old. Finally she said she would talk to her and tell her to stop but I was not happy that it took so much convincing and that I had to justify to her why it bothered me. This put me in a very bad mood because I feel like all she cares about is her kids getting to act however they want regadless of if it bothers me or not. I am a teacher so I deal with kids all the time but these 2 drive me nuts because mom doesnt set boundaries. We then watch the movie and SD 10 can not stop commenting every 30 seconds even though he was told not to talk through the movie. This has been constant since he was 5 so I almost never watch movies with him because he wont shut up. SD 14 was in her room and doesnt want to watch the movie (most likely because of how annoying SS 10 is). At the 11:55 SS 10.procliams (for the second time tonight) "someone go get SD14." I dont like getting ordered around by this kid and he does it to mom.a lot (she thinks its because he is excited) and I was not in a good mood so I told him to go get her himself. My wife didnt like my tone so she confronted me and I told her I was not happy with how she handled the squalling situation. Now we are fighting again because of her annoying kids and yet another New Years is ruined I f-ing hate New Years. Worst day of the year.
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I can't stand that shrill
I can't stand that shrill squealing. It's not just the pitch, it's the unpredictability of it. It puts you on edge. I understand that it's something's kids do, but it doesn't make it less annoying and they should be told to cut it out. Back in the day, parents used to say "use your indoor voice". If the kids have so much energy they can't contain themselves then they need to go outside and burn it off until they can act calmly inside the house.
And yes boundaries should be set around the talking during the movie (respect for others trying to enjoy the film) and the baby talking (I'd be tempted to talk to her in a baby voice from now on haha)
and the baby talking (I'd be
exactly
usually I'd think doing something back to someone that they're doing is petty but this really is the only way they learn if you've tried other things that didn't work.
start talking to her in an over the top baby voice. Do it in public. I bet she will realize then how embarrassing and annoying it is.
Reading your post, I felt
Reading your post, I felt triggered. It brought back memories of YSD’s infuriating “baby-ass” voice she used with DH. It was ridiculous because her real voice was deep—so deep that, around her school friends, she sounded like an adolescent boy. But the moment she walked through the door after shunning me all the way home, her voice shot up at least five octaves. She’d scream, “Daddddeeee, Dadddeee, I’m home!” in the most saccharine-sweet, fake “baby-ass” voice imaginable.
YSD would use the voice of a very young child when she is manipulating DH. She saw it as a resource to DH’s nurturing instincts and wanted to bend him to her will. YSD also spoke childlike when she lied, and her eyes got big and round. Think of an animated Disney character.
When I started asking DH why YSD was using that ridiculous “baby-ass” voice with him, all I got was the classic deer-in-the-headlights stare. It turns out he actually liked the baby talk (Yuck!). But after some pressing, he finally admitted that BM used the same voice on him, too. I told him flat out, “Well, they’re both manipulative, and they do manipulate you, DH.”
Note to any man reading this: If you meet a woman and she starts using the “baby-ass” voice on you—RUN. Don’t walk, RUN far away from her. It means she has a personality disorder.
Back to you, Alwayslast1978: You don’t have a skid problem. You have a wife problem. I can’t give you any advice, but the seasoned veterans will come along like ‘AlmostGone834’ and give you sage advice.
thanks
Thank you for the advice and suppprt. I totally get that my wife is a huge part of the problem. I also feel that kids need to be held accountable for their behavior. Just bevause mom lets them act this way, doesnt mean they have to. They are 14 and 10 now.
Why are you staying
It's not going to get any better. 20 years from now SD 34 will still be doing the sane thing.
money
My wife decided to push me into buying a house in Feb 2022 for 1.38 mill. I owned a 425 k townhouse which would be worth 700 k now. A home down the street that is exactly like ours is going for 1.05 mil. I would lose everything if I left now. Hoping it goes up enough this year so I can leave.
Start dropping hints to your
Start dropping hints to your 14yr old skid that at that around that age kids usually start making plans with friends for NYE. That's what I did. It worked. We have skid-free New years Eve's now. It doesn't totally eliminate your whiny kid problem, but hope It helps!
cant keep friends
Her friends always end up not wanting to be friends with her within a few months. Never her fault though.
If i were you I'd make adults
If i were you I'd make adults only plans for new years and drop those kids with grandparents, a nanny, or whoever wants to get paid to deal with their squealing on the holidays
anytime the Disneyland dad I used to deal with would let his kids act like annoying little crumbsnatchers .... I would up and leave ... revoke all of my attention and reclaim my peace.
2025 don't let anyone disturb your peace ... you pay the bills not them.
I would always make plans
On NYE. Even if it's a neighborhood bar. Anything to get out of the house. A nice restaurant where dinner goes into new years
Stop talking to DW about it and shut it down directly.
When SS 10 talks during the movie, pause it and tell him to shut up. Then restart the movie when she zips his squeal flappers.
Tell squealing SD-14 that she pulls that squealing shit one one more time and the cats go to the SPCA. Then do it.
You do not owe DW an explanation on why the shit spawn crap bothers you. She owes you to make the end of it happen or you will make sure it does. Give DW that message.
It has always amazed me that married adults marginalize their spouse for their failed family baggage. Spouses are supposed to be equity life partners which IMHO also makes them equity parents to any children in their home and marriage regardless of whose children they are biologically.
My DW and I for the most part navigated raising SS for 15 years with this model though there were a couple of times that she did not like how I was parenting or disciplining SS. She made the error of confronting me about it in front of SS one time. I gave her clarity that if she did not like how parented and disciplined she could step up and get it done before I had to or she could bite her tongue, and have my back until we could discuss it in private.